Afterwards
by Silverlake
Summary: A sequel to Eventfully Ever After. Kel's daughter has questions and an attitude. Alanna has opinions.Wyldon takes on a daunting task. Chapter 5 is up!
1. Chapter 1

_So, I could only stay away so long and then I had to come back for a brief visit. I think (and you've heard that before) that this is the first installment of what will be a sporadically updated trilogy set between the end and the epilogue of EEA. (If you haven't read EEA, you might find it boring and bewildering but you're welcome to come along for the ride.) It basically covers events alluded to in the epilogue. It takes place in late winter—a few months after the EEA's midwinter ending. And, at the request of some lovely reviewers, it looks at Kel's daughter, Fira, who is having the tumultuous adolescence Neal predicted… All the usual copyright disclaimers apply—i.e. this was produced purely for stress-relief purposes. Enjoy!_

I'm not even alone, Penelope reminded herself, glancing down at her belly, where her unborn child seemed to be inventing a martial art of her very own.

Bandit wandered over and set his head on her knee, sighing loudly as though he too were impatiently awaiting Dalton's return.

"I know, boy," Penelope muttered, ashamed of the way her voice caught. She ought to be able to function for a few days—and he would only be gone a few days— without her husband. She was supposed to be a knight of the realm, not a moping, lovesick squire. She was pregnant; she ought to be acting like an adult, not someone who desperately wanted to be held in loving arms. Never mind that she was irrationally terrified that something would happen to him while she wasn't there to protect him.

Penelope shook her head to clear it and glanced out at the snow-covered courtyard. It was ridiculous that part of her wanted to be out in that weather, camped alongside Dalton and Selena and Vina, ready to fight in the morning, able to make sure they all came home uninjured.

Ordinary noblewomen waited at home for months while their husbands fought. Ordinary women were also quite capable of reattaching buttons to shirts. And normal knights weren't reduced to tears by their clumsiness at sewing. But if she couldn't manage this, how was she ever going to care for her…

A timely knock finally halted her thoughts before they could run away with her.

PDPDPD

Dalton braced his elbow on a tree branch and mounded snow against the joint, trying to lessen the painful throbbing radiating along his arm.

"Here." Selena appeared beside him with a flour sack that had been filled with snow. She propped it securely at his elbow and then stepped back a pace or two, sticking her hands in her armpits to warm them.

"Thanks," Dalton muttered.

"Thank you," she said, "for saving my hide this afternoon."

Dalton looked away. "It wouldn't have needed saving if I hadn't been distracted this afternoon. I was an idiot. I'm sorry. I could have gotten you killed."

They were both silent for a moment, remembering how his concentration had broken as he was supposed to be covering Selena's back as they charged forwards. He'd barely noticed the danger in time to block the centaur from decapitating Selena as she shot at a hurrok. And he'd taken a hoof to his elbow in the process. But if he'd been a even a little more immersed in his thoughts of home, if he'd taken a moment longer to notice…

"Well," she said, "I was going to bring it up a little more tactfully."

Dalton shrugged. "I was worrying about her," he admitted.

"I know," Selena said. "You can't do that."

"I can't not," Dalton said helplessly.

Selena sighed. "You have to—" She swallowed and traced her fingers along the hilt of her sword, thinking of the man who'd made it for her. "When you leave someone behind," she said, "you know he—she's safe."

"Easy enough for you to say," he snapped, the pain in his arm making him irritable. "Jeck's not pregnant."

"Right," Selena muttered. "I'd wondered why he didn't have Neal hovering around monitoring his health."

Dalton nodded sheepishly, which Selena took as a sign to continue.

"So you set her safely aside in the back of your mind and you focus entirely on what we're doing here so that you can get back as soon as possible. It's the best way to deal with—"she frowned, scrubbing her tired eyes with her hands. "Sorry," she said. "I shouldn't be lecturing you."

He shrugged. "You are the expert here." He swallowed. "It's harder than I expected it would be, this—"

"You miss her."

Dalton blinked at the obviousness of this statement, which somehow seemed to have intensified the ache in his arm.

"No," she said. "I mean more than the way I want Jeck. You miss her as a fighting partner, the one who always has your back. And you miss your best friend. And you miss having her sleep beside you." She smiled knowingly. "When was the last time you two were apart?"

Dalton frowned thoughtfully. "If you don't count our Ordeals?" He frowned thoughtfully. "A few weeks before then."

"No," she said in a mock scandalized whisper, "those were before your wedding."

"This from the woman who didn't even bother maintaining the appearance of a separate room during the _years_ she lived with her sweetheart." He smiled pointedly at the simple ring that now graced her left hand, which she wore not for herself or Jeck, but to educate all the idiots who disapproved of her marrying a common smith. "And it wasn't just about honesty and convenience, was it? You wanted every second you could have at home with him in between being called away."

Selena nodded, shivering miserably and wondering why loneliness always made cold worse.

"Sorry." Dalton wrapped his good arm around her so that they could share his cloak. "We—Pen and I—always used to wonder how you managed."

"I'm not entirely sure," she said. "I suspect some understanding friends were involved. And I would tell you that it gets easier over time, but…"

They chuckled darkly together.

PDPDPD

Penelope's rescuer was none other than Kel's daughter, who stood clutching her journal to her chest.

"We're supposed to choose a knight to interview for homework," she said. "And I've chosen you, if that's alright."

"Of course," Penelope said, feeling oddly flattered. She gestured for Fira to take the sofa and got out a tin of ginger biscuits for them to share. Fira was growing rapidly and always hungry—and so was she these days.

"Why me?" she asked, taking the armchair that Dalton usually occupied.

"I'm supposed to be asking the questions." Fira chose a biscuit. "And my ma says that it's unladylike to fish for compliments. But my da calls that a double standard because lots of knights do it."

"I see," Penelope said.

"Anyway," Fira continued, "you were the obvious choice. Especially since Selena's gone and Wyldon declared himself off-limits. You don't intimidate me."

Unsure whether to be pleased or offended by this, Penelope refrained from pointing out that she doubted she intimidated many people in her current state.

"I used to climb on your shoulders and think that you were exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up back when I thought fifteen was grownup."

Penelope smiled. She'd later begun to think that 'grownup' must be somewhere around Wyldon's age, whatever that was. Or that it was simply an illusion one kept preserving for younger generations.

"Besides—"Fira opened her notebook—"I doubt the men will be able to answer all of _my _questions. And I am _not_ interviewing my mother," she added fiercely.

Penelope decided that the wisest course would be to simply nod in acknowledgement of this last statement. She fortified herself with a bite of biscuit and turned to her interviewer. "What do you want to know?"

"When did you decide this was what you wanted?"

"Every morning," Penelope said, a little startled by her own answer, "when I hauled myself out of bed to hit the practice court."

"What was the hardest part?"

"I'm not sure," she answered. "Neal would probably tell you I'm lucky to have repressed whatever it was."

"And what was the best part? And you aren't allowed to say Dalton."

Penelope thought a moment. "You know that really annoying smug look certain boys get when they're sure you can't do something?"

Fira's eyes widened as she nodded.

"And you know how disoriented they get when you prove them wrong?"

Fira grinned and nodded.

"That's definitely one of the best parts."

PDPDPD

"Thanks," Dalton muttered, squeezing Selena's shoulders once more before releasing her from his hug. "They don't—"he gestured back at the other knights' tent—"they're used to leaving women behind."

"Regrettably," Vina remarked, stepping up to lean against the tree beside them. "It doesn't mean I like doing so."

Selena smiled and came to stand beside Vina. "I think he was referring to all the big strapping traditionalists who don't share his concerns—"

"Well," said Vina, "I don't see why we women should have the monopoly on unconventional behavior."

Dalton frowned at her. "I don't have to be nearly as brave and outrageous as—"

"But I think you'd thrown in your lot with the eccentrics and underdogs even before you met Penelope," Vina said.

Dalton nodded slowly. Perhaps that had been what first attracted Penelope to him.

"It isn't all bad," Selena said after a moment's silence.

Dalton snorted and glanced at his elbow, which wouldn't be capable of much fighting or heavy lifting for the next few weeks.

"Or it is all bad," she amended, "but there are good things about having someone to come home to. I know I just have to get there and Jeck will take care of everything while I get my head on straight again. He's there to walk help me off my horse or reheat whatever Jason's made for dinner. And as soon as he takes my hand I know that it's over and that I'm going to be alright." She sighed wistfully. "And he isn't dirty or exhausted from days on the road. He's just there for me."

"And then, if it's really late and cold, there's a lot to be said for coming home to someone who's already warm in bed," Vina added. "Especially if she isn't sound asleep."

"It's always the quiet ones," Selena muttered.

"You do know that's exactly what they're saying back there about you and Dalton having snuck off together." Vina wrinkled her nose cheerfully. "Though by now, they probably think all three of us are—"she ducked the snowball that Selena launched at her—"together."

"Right," Dalton said. "I guess we'd better get back to our respective tents before anyone else decides to join in the fun."

Selena grinned and stepped over to help him fashion a makeshift sling for his elbow. "Oh," she said, "by the way, Penelope is capable of making her own tea in the morning. She just doesn't like to remind you of it. So, don't worry on that score."

PDPDPD

Kefira didn't even look up from the answer she was writing in her notebook as the pages' curfew bell rang.

"We can finish tomorrow," Penelope offered, though she couldn't imagine many more questions. They'd been talking (with interspersed snorts and giggles) for over an hour.

"Are you getting tired?"

"Not really, but Mindelan wouldn't want you to be breaking curfew."

"She's my mother and it's my decision." Fira lifted her head calmly and met Penelope's eyes.

Penelope shrugged, feeling that she wasn't in a good position to argue given that she'd recently described several occasions on which she'd broken curfew (and sometimes for activities more mischievous than homework.)

Fira nodded gratefully. "Right then. Is there anything I should have asked you about that I haven't yet?"

Penelope thought a moment and then shook her head. "Just learn to recognize and trust the people who believe in you and your purpose. Don't be so paranoid about maintaining your independence that you push them away."

"Is 'trust' some kind of code for kiss or love?" Fira asked. "Because Jarif is basically my brother. We aren't going to wind up like you and Dalton."

"Well, I suppose trust is a kind of love. And so is feeling that someone is your brother. But no, it's not code. And I certainly hope you can trust more people in your life than the one you happen to be kissing at the moment."

Fira smiled. The she closed her notebook and stood reluctantly. She seemed unwilling to take a step towards the door.

"Is there anything you want to tell me that I haven't asked?" Penelope said.

"Sometimes I want to quit," Fira blurted and then sat back down again as though expecting to be scolded.

"Hmmm." Penelope squeezed Fira's shoulder and then stood up to put the kettle on for tea so she could think about what she wanted to say.

"Everybody thinks about quitting. I thought most about it when I was a squire, so maybe you're getting your doubting over early."

"It's just that sometimes I feel like I'm doing this for my ma. Or my da. Or Wyldon. Or whoever would be disappointed if I didn't."

"And what about you? What would you do if you were doing it just for yourself?"

Fira shrugged. Penelope took this as in indication that it was time for a second round of biscuits. She fetched them, poured tea, and then took a seat beside Fira on the sofa.

"Seriously. If you weren't deciding for anyone but yourself, what would you be? A Rider? A healer? A scholar? A blacksmith?"

"I don't think Jeck has room for another apprentice," Fira said, her brow crinkling a little in amusement

"You aren't supposed to be thinking about anyone else," Penelope said with mock sternness. "So, a priestess? A pastry-maker?"

Fira shook her head, almost smiling. "I honestly don't have anything else I'd really rather do. It's just that I sometimes wake up and wonder whether this is really the right path."

"And does this come from that pesky little voice at the back of your head that also occasionally tells you you're stupid, clumsy, or ugly?" Penelope said.

"Or all three on particularly bad days."

"Right," Penelope muttered. "It's probably one you should ignore then."

"I try." Fira sighed and dropped her head to rest on Penelope's shoulder. "But sometimes I just wish someone else in my head would speak up and shout that we're obviously on the right track."

"Me too," Penelope admitted, wrapping an arm around the girl's shoulders. "But nothing you try is going to seem absolutely perfect all the time. And I like to think all the really smart voices are in our hearts and guts. If they aren't screaming at you to stop something, you're probably headed in the right direction."

"So it's okay not to be entirely right about yourself as long as you aren't entirely wrong."

Penelope smiled at how natural it felt to be cuddled reassuringly around a youngster who wanted her advice. "I'd promise that it all works out eventually but I'm not sure I've actually gotten to eventually yet."

"That's okay." Fira reached lazily for another biscuit. "And while I'm here…" she gestured around the sitting room—"when did you first realize you loved Dalton?"

PDPDPD

They were interrupted a short while later by another knock on Penelope's door.

"Come in," she called.

"Finally. There she is."

Neal and Kel entered, both attempting reproving expressions when they spotted Fira (though Neal's was more of an amused smirk and Kel seemed a little guilt-stricken.)

Fira stood quickly and tucked her hands behind her back. Her mother raised an eyebrow.

"So you are aware that it's an hour past your curfew."

Fira nodded calmly. "And the standard punishment is a week of stable chores, so I'll be doing two." She glanced slyly at Neal. "Most likely with an hour or two of armor scrubbing added for cheek."

Kel nodded, looking mildly astonished by her daughter's unflinching calculations.

"Why do you keep setting yourself up for this?"

"I fell," Fira said almost cheerfully, "out of love with perfection." She scooped up her notebook and kissed Kel's cheek. "Night, ma." Then she headed off to bed.

Kel sighed and took one of Penelope's proffered biscuits. (Neal took a handful.)

"I just don't understand what's gotten into her. She doesn't usually deliberately disobey rules. And she usually makes some kind of private protest about her doubled punishments"—Kel ran a hand through her hair—"which are, by the way, the worst part of my job."

"And one's own children are always the most difficult," Neal murmured. "It's far easier to raise and teach other peoples'. That's probably why we farm them out to be pages and squires or convent-trained young ladies."

"Said like a true cynic," Kel told him.

"Actually," Neal admitted, "that particular gem came from Wyldon. I don't think he ever truly understood his own daughters. It wasn't really because they were girls; it was because they were his."

This brought a brief smile to Kel's face.

"He seemed to manage alright with Selena," Penelope pointed out.

"Once Kel had broken him in," Neal muttered.

"Maybe I should quit," Kel said. "And let someone else handle training for the next seven years."

"Don't," Neal said. "You're the only one I'd trust with _my _daughter's training."

Kel sighed. "I know the whole double-punishments-so-we're-sure-she-doesn't-look-like-she's-being favored situation is hard for both of us and usually she stays out of trouble. But this past week she's been…"

"trying to prove to herself that she isn't you," Penelope finished.

"In that case," Neal observed, "it's interesting how much her efforts seem to make her resemble her mother."

Kel fixed him with the stern expression she usually reserved for giggling pages and Penelope's eyebrows raised in gleeful curiosity.

"Maybe that tendency to knowingly do things for which one will be undeservedly punished and then cheerfully accept the consequences passed from mother to daughter," Neal added.

"And she couldn't have gotten my chin or my taste for vegetables?" Kel rubbed her fingers over her temple.

"I think it was just an introspective, underconfident phase," Penelope said. "Either it's over already or she's going to wind up like Neal." She smiled at Neal's glare. "What? I might as well say this kind of thing while everyone's letting me get away with it."

"Too bad we can't tell the truth all the time," Kel remarked. Then she came to squeeze Penelope's shoulder in farewell. "And thanks," she whispered, "for saying whatever it was she needed to hear."

Neal cleared his throat once she'd left, resisting the urge to ask Penelope how she was.

Penelope accurately interpreted the throat-clearing as a reminder that going un-interrogated was a privilege to be earned by coming to him whenever she did feel ill and nodded calmly at him.

"Yours will be just as difficult one day," he informed her. "I think they get our best and worst traits in whatever combination is mostly likely to drive us mad." He sighed. "It's alright to contemplate throttling one's children, but several passages in the Knight's Code forbid our acting on the impulse."

"Like with squires?"

"Exactly. Only they start out smaller and squallier. And it takes a few years for them to learn to make impertinent remarks."

PDPDPD

A few nights later, it was Karyna who stood at Penelope's door.

"Can I come in?" she asked a little hesitantly. "Things are a little awkward for me in the other wing without Vina here. And my bunk in the Rider barracks was eaten by bureaucratic oversight."

Penelope smiled sympathetically and pulled open the door. "Would you happen to be any good at sewing buttons?"

"Not especially," Karyna said, "I usually talk Vina into doing mine. But I can get them more or less attached while losing at chess and gossiping about which Riders are sleeping with which of the Own."

"Excellent." Penelope tried not to show too much desperate glee as she handed over her mending and went to fetch the chessboard.

PDPDPD

Dalton hastily dismissed his men when they reached the stables and smiled as he watched Selena dash towards Jeck. His own excited dash would have to wait until he'd cared for his horse and stumbled back to his rooms.

"She would have been waiting here if you'd sent word ahead," Vina reminded him. "Jeck has the advantage of being able to hear groups come in."

"I know," Dalton said. "I didn't want her out waiting in this weather."

"And I presume you want me to refrain from sharing that with her so that she won't throw the nearest available diatribe at you."

"Yes, please," Dalton agreed.

Selena disentangled herself from Jeck and then kissed his cheek again before slinging his arm around her waist and returning to the stables.

"Don't worry about your horse," she told Dalton. "We'll take care of him."

"You don't have—"

"Really." Jeck glanced pointedly at his bandaged arm. "It will give Jason and Sara more time to finish dinner since they seem to be doing more kissing than cooking." There was a note of not-quite-approval in his voice. "I don't understand it. They manage to stay focused on weaponry all day, but once they step into the kitchen…"

"It's the garlic," Vina said cheerfully as she poured oats for her already-groomed horse. "And I've got your bags," she added, nudging Dalton with a free elbow.

"You do realize that you aren't my squire anymore?" he said, following her.

"You do realize that your arm isn't up to carrying these?" Vina parried. "And that we're headed in the same general direction?"

"Alright." Dalton shrugged in surrender. "Thanks."

PDPDPD

"How was it?" Jeck asked as he began untacking Dalton's horse.

"About average," Selena said. She pulled off her saddle and patted her mare's shoulder. "Actually," she added slowly, "they probably didn't need all of us."

"Really?" Jeck set down the hoof he'd been picking out and turned to look at her. "Does that mean something?"

"I don't know." Selena shrugged. "I've just been thinking…we aren't actually at war right now. I mean, there are bandits and Immortals and there always will be. But basically things are pretty calm." She swallowed. "And it seems like Penelope's chosen a pretty good time to be taking a few years off."

Jeck wrapped his hands briefly around hers as he passed her a brush. "And is that what you want right now?"

"I don't know," she said. "I sort of feel like I should train a squire first and really establish myself…But I'm not sure that there's ever going to be a squire for me to train since I could only take a girl and then if a war starts in the meanwhile I don't want to seem like I'm having children just to back out the of fighting." She sighed, but managed to smile at Jeck when he reached over to squeeze her shoulder. "I—we should talk about it, but not when I'm too tired to think."

Jeck nodded calmly. "No need to decide anything tonight."

And then, despite Selena's claim that she was too tired to think, a sudden thought hit her.

"Would you be horrified if I talked to Wyldon about it?"

Jeck blinked and then recovered. "Not particularly. His health's been very good these past few months."

Selena laughed a little shakily. "And you haven't even given me the 'no noble inheritance' reminders."

Jeck shrugged. "I figure you heard the first few and it would be an insult to keep reminding you over and over again. And between the two of us we earn more than enough to support children through anything less expensive than knighthood."

Selena smiled. "I suppose we'd better just work out the timing then."

PDPDPD

"Oh," Vina said, joyfully dropping their bags inside Dalton's door. "I hope they aren't cheating on us."

Dalton stepped up behind her and found Penelope and Karyna playing chess. Or rather, he saw a chessboard on the table and found Karyna pulling Vina into her lap and Penelope standing up—which was becoming a bit of a project for her—to greet him.

"Hey." He went to wrap his arms around her and winced at the pain in his elbow.

"What happened?" she demanded, pulling back so that she could extend his arm and finger the bandage.

"Nothing." He tugged her back into his arms, ignoring the pain. "I'm just a bit of a klutz when I don't have you there to impress."

She chuckled patiently, but he felt a few warm tears hit his shirt when she settled her face against his chest. "Sorry," she said. "I misplaced my cheeky optimism while you were away." She cleared her throat. "But you can't be a klutz because your daughter is an acrobat. "

"Is she?"

Penelope drew his good hand to her belly and their daughter, who seemed to sense that her movements were finally being encouraged, went perversely still.

"Just wait," Penelope muttered, "and pretend not to pay attention."

Dalton set his chin atop her head and looked over at Vina.

"You smell like horse," Karyna was telling her. She had her nose buried in Vina's hair and didn't seem to care.

"You're about to lose your castle," Vina informed her, lazily surveying the board.

"Dalton's castle," Karyna corrected. "There's a letter from Rissa on your desk."

"Is she—"Vina began eagerly.

"I haven't opened it, but it's a good I'm-happy-enough-to-have-things-to-tell-you-but-too-busy-to-give-you-the-full-geneology-of-everyone-I've-met length." She smiled. "I'd suggest we go get it, but that would involve moving."

Dalton finally felt the baby kick and grinned briefly at Penelope, wonderingly if their child had already begun picking up certain Shang techniques from her mother's training sessions.

"Ermph." Vina dropped her head to the crook of Karyna's elbow. "Any other news?"

"I'm riding out again in three weeks."

"Already?" Penelope asked. She kissed Dalton's cheek as she helped him out of his cloak so that she could frown at his injured arm.

"Well, they want to send a Rider group down to the desert to 'foster intercultural friendships' and that kind of thing, so I volunteered to lead mine."

"Oh." Vina's worried pout transformed into a wide grin. "I don't suppose you'll be bringing a stray knight or two along."

"As a matter of fact…"Karyna brushed her nose against Vina's. "I made that very suggestion to my commanding officer and found that it was very well received."

"I'll expect weekly reports," Penelope informed them. At least this would ease the knot of worry she'd felt since Rissa's departure. "If not daily," she added when Vina blinked at her, "since I can't occupy my time with sewing or jousting."

PDPDPD

_Rissa, _

_ You won't want to know this anymore than I want to write it, but I felt that I ought to be the one to inform you. I am to marry Lady Maria tomorrow, by the arrangement of both out mothers. Please remember your promise and do not stop writing to me._

_Love,_

_Byrn_

_P.S. If you were anyone else, I wouldn't believe you'd already saved children from a prowling lion. But since it's you, I wonder how much you were casually understating your heroism in that last letter._

Rissa smiled at the postscript and then forced herself to read the letter one last time. Blinking tears, she stood and tossed it into the fire. Then she dropped to the ground and pulled her knees up against her chest—a stupid, undefended position for someone out alone in the dark, but she was too unhappy to care.

"I don't wish to disrupt your solitude."

The voice was unfamiliar to Rissa, but it sounded young, male, and irritated. She shrugged in acknowledgement but didn't look up.

"But there are only so many quiet hiding places to slip away to at this camp," he continued, sitting down on the opposite side of the fire, "and I need to avoid my brother for a bit longer."

"Why?" Rissa asked, despite herself. She glanced over at her new companion and found that he was about her age.

"Proving a point." He rolled his intense brown eyes. "My brother was spotted 'borrowing' a horse that wasn't his to ride this morning. When the owner confronted him this evening, he claimed it had been me—we are identical, you see, twins. So I'm staying out until he confesses and handles the consequences of his actions."

He reminded her of Vina. He'd even pulled his leanly-muscled shoulders into the same aggrieved-but-stubbornly-loving-and-responsible posture.

"At home," she told him, "I'm the reckless twin—usually, and right now, I suppose, running away from…" she shook her head. "And my sister is the rational one—when she isn't rescuing me anyway."

"You have a twin?" he asked.

Rissa nodded, smiling because he hadn't said 'you're a twin' as so many people did, as though she wouldn't exist at all without Vina.

"So you understand that I may be in for a very long wait?"

Rissa nodded. "I suppose you want to know why I'm out here." She did not want to tell him.

He shrugged. "Only if you have an interesting reason. Otherwise I'll settle for an assurance that you aren't going to start sobbing hysterically on me."

Rissa mustered a little dignity. "My hysterics," she informed him, "are virtually always the laughing sort."

PDPDPD

"Bed," Penelope ordered Dalton as soon as their guests had departed. His face was the grayish tone that came from the exhaustion of suppressing pain.

Too tired to argue, he slumped on the edge of their bed and let her help him out of his boots and shirt. He didn't even protest when she wet a cloth and scrubbed his face clean (in part because he suspected that she was polishing maternal skills she didn't think she had). But he recognized the tiredness in her eyes when she lay down beside him.

"Hey." He brushed his fingers over cheek. "You can't worry so much next time," he told her. "Aside from the fact that it's a little insulting—I mean have I really given you reason to be so worried about my lack of fighting prowess or whatever?-"he tweaked her nose gently—"and it's obviously exhausting, it doesn't do either of any good."

"I know." Penelope rolled over and snugged herself against him so that he could elevate his injured arm by draping it over her. "I just—missed you," she admitted.

"Me too," he murmured as Bandit spun his three circles and settled at their feet "It's like reliving our squire years."

"Only worse," Penelope agreed. "And better." She smiled. "Poor Queenscove," she added unrepentantly.

_So, thanks for reading! I hope you've enjoyed this little look at what happened after Rissa left. I had fun working with this older, more rebellious Fira and I'm looking forward to putting her in the next installment (which will be up sometime before my September plunge into the Ph.D. pit of doom). Persuasive reviews may succeed in convincing me to include favorite characters in the next update or get me to speed up the process. _


	2. Observations

_Hello again! Thanks to all my lovely reviewers and apologies for the long wait—the plots got a little out-of-control and then my sister's wedding came up…This chapter takes place in the middle of summer, several months after the last chapter and a few weeks after Althea's birth. It contains creative materials belonging to Tamora Pierce and potentially toxic levels of fluff. Enjoy!_

Dalton was pleased to see several familiar faces when he arrived to take command of the Spidren dispatching troop. He had only left his wife and infant daughter at the urgent request of the crown after the group's previous leader had broken his leg; he hoped to finish dealing with the Immortals and return home as quickly as possible, so he was glad to have competent friends among the knights and the Riders. But he found himself worrying about one of the faces he couldn't see.

He greeted Selena and asked her to summon the other knights to the main tent for a strategic meeting. Then he studied the group of Riders for a moment.

"Captain," he called with casual formality, "a word?"

Karyna tossed her reins to Jess, who waved cheekily, and followed him.

"Hey," he said when they'd passed out of earshot. "Where's Vina?"

"Visiting her parents. She might be a bit of a wreck when she gets home."

Dalton didn't bother disputing the notion that the palace was Vina's home or that Vina would be worse for the wear after any interaction with her father.

"And you and Penelope?" she asked. "How's the baby?"

"Althea's wonderful." Dalton felt a foolish grin stretching across his face. "She's just absolutely—" he shook his head and stopped the incipient gushing. "How was Rissa?"

Karyna tilted her head thoughtfully. "I think the dessert agrees with her. She's full of energy and the heat doesn't seem to bother her—she's outside all day. But I think the evenings are difficult for her. Or they were while we were there, at least. She was routinely out-drinking Vina—"

"Not all that impressive," Dalton muttered, "so would Penelope." Vina rarely drank more than a half-glass of ale and almost never touched brandy.

"And me," Karyna continued, "combined."

Dalton winced. The Rider was a good deal taller than both twins and she never seemed to get hangovers. He wouldn't want to try to outdrink her.

"Any word from Byrn?" he asked.

"Well." Karyna thought a moment. "She wouldn't talk about him, but they're still exchanging letters. She must know he's married by now, but…"

"Rissa has a knack for expressing all sorts of thoughts without revealing her deepest feelings," Dalton remarked.

"They both do," Karyna agreed. "But the desert does seem to be doing her some good."

Dalton nodded and tugged his thoughts back to the business at hand. "Before we go back," he said, "which of the knights—aside from Selena—are you most comfortable running guard duty with?"

She blinked. Knights didn't usually bother considering the personalities and needs of non-nobles under their command. Then again, Dalton, like many of the young knights who'd trained under Mindelan, had developed a bit of a reputation for innovative thinking.

"Keith," she said, leaving off the customary 'sir'.

"Your neighbor?" he asked. Keith lived just across from the room Vina had taken in the palace.

"One of the few I get along with now that he's gotten used to the idea of us." She grinned. "And we've discovered we have common interests in women and horses."

PDPDPD

"What are we going to do this afternoon?" Jarif asked as he and Kefira hurried away from their final (and dullest, since it was etiquette) class of the day.

Fira glanced reluctantly at her books, thinking of the immense essay she was expected to write for a teacher who thought that female pages should master all manner of knightly bows and handshakes and ladylike curtseys and fan flipping. Which made for roughly twice as much material to memorize.

"Instead of homework?" Jarif clarified.

"But—" Fira protested half-heartedly.

"You don't want to get too complacent and set in your routine," Jarif said. "Mother Mindelan"—he was the only one who got away with using this nickname in Fira's presence—"would not approve."

Fira smiled in agreement as they turned past a few old suits of armor that were out on display, quite possibly solely for the purpose of providing extra punishment duty for pages.

"Sorry," she said. "I just hate that class. Especially the actual bowing and scraping parts."

Jarif nodded. "Maybe if we had better models to practice on," he muttered. Then his eyes lit on the suits of armor.

Fira grinned widely as she caught his drift. "Let me run by my room. I've got a heap of outgrown dresses in my wardrobe."

PDPDPD

Penelope was gently pacing about the palace with her infant daughter in an apparently futile effort to lull her into sleep when she came upon two pages busily engaged in a redecorating effort.

"Well," she cooed to her daughter, "isn't this interesting? If I weren't off duty, I might feel obligated to report it to Mindelan, but, at the moment…" she smiled down at Althea and then studied the suits of armor again. "I think the one on the end would look fetching in blue."

Bandit sneezed in agreement and started down the hall again, leading her away.

PDPDPD

Shortly before suppertime, a troop of offended nobles (mostly middle-aged men and women) entered Kel's study to demand that she deal with the latest of her pages' misdeeds. She reluctantly abandoned the lesson-plan she was drawing up and followed them to the scene of the crime, where she had some difficulty maintaining a grave expression. Kel's amusement was only dampened by the fact that she knew immediately which pages were to blame for the "inappropriately attired" armor. She recognized the skirts.

The culprits, when she found them at the practice courts, were practicing cartwheels and handstands, passing time as they waited for the scolding they knew would eventually come. Kefira and Jarif brushed themselves off and came to stand before, hands tucked behind their backs and eyebrows raised.

"I presume you know what this is about," she said. "And that you know better than to offer excuses."

"Yes, lady knight." Jarif and Kefira spoke together, their voices respectful. It was difficult not to be proud of their calm solidarity. Actually, it was difficult not to appreciate their entire escapade, but it was her professional duty to keep them from realizing this.

Kel glanced around the courtyard and found that they had an audience. Wyldon was holding Althea and humming her to sleep, much to Penelope's relief and Neal's consternation.

"It must be some sort of necessary survival mechanism," Neal was saying, "the way they find gruff, curmudgeonly voices so soothing—it's a built in strategy for charming everyone in the room by falling asleep in the least expected set of arms."

"He's always had a certain way with young people," Kel pointed out.

Wyldon nodded sagely, brushed an insect from Althea's blanket, and watched to see what Kel would do next.

"We'll clean it up immediately," Jarif assured her.

"Are there to be any additional consequences?" Fira asked.

"You'll each spend three hours polishing armor and three hours mucking out stalls," Kel decided. "Separately, so you aren't using the time to plot further incidents. And for your cheek"—she pointed at her daughter—"you will owe Penelope and Dalton two hours of babysitting to be collected at any point before you earn your shield."

"Four hours babysitting," Kefira countered calmly, "three hours mucking out, and three hours assisting Jeck in the smithy."

"One hour mucking out and fours hours polishing armor," Kel countered. "And one hour assisting Jeck."

"But I'm better at mucking than polishing," Fira protested, ignoring Jarif's attempt to elbow her into silence. "How about four hours mucking out, three with Jeck, and one polishing? That's more time overall. And I'll do five hours babysitting"

"Deal," Kel muttered before she could stop herself.

Neal put a hand on Penelope's shoulder. "Save your hours up and you'll have a weeklong trip in a few years."

Penelope shook her head. "By my rough calculations, the extent of the damage they'd get up to would be somewhere between catastrophic and devastating."

"All the more reason to be away." Neal smiled and reached to ruffle Fira's hair as she passed. The girl ducked and grinned as she darted away from her mother and the possibility of further punishment.

Wyldon returned Penelope's daughter and walked towards Kel, who swallowed reflexively as though she were still a page herself.

"In my day," he informed her, "pages were not permitted to negotiate their own punishments."

Kel nodded.

"Upon reflection," he continued, "I'd like to add that you and Queenscove were not as difficult and creative as you believed yourselves to be." He glanced at Neal, who looked mildly offended. "You lacked a certain whimsical genius."

PDPDPD

"Karyna and Keith," Dalton called. "Are you good to stand guard again?"

Keith nodded, yawning, and Karyna shrugged tiredly. It had been a long week, but by now only a few very tenacious Spidren were left and they were all holed up in their den and likely to stay there until there were burned out.

They took up their usual positions outside the tent and resumed an old argument about where the best ale in Corus was served while the knights filed into the tent to circle around a map.

"Alright," Dalton said, pointing to the location they'd managed to pinpoint, "the only hard part here is that the den has six entrances so we'll have to spread out over a four mile area to cover all the tunnels."

"But this should finish the job," Sir Elrich said. "Assuming we really know about all the exits, we'll be smelling smoked Spidren soon."

Everyone sighed and Dalton cleared his throat to continue but then Selena, who'd been grey-faced and edgy throughout the morning, vomited neatly on the map before clapping a hand over her mouth and fleeing the tent.

"See," one man muttered, "women are too squeamish to be out doing—"

"You're too squeamish to handle a bit of sick, is more like it," said Elrich. He had four children at home and was already wiping up the mess. "I can finish here," he told Dalton, "if you want to track down…"

Dalton waved in thanks and hurried from the tent.

"That way." Karyna gestured, without waiting for him to ask. "Also, she isn't ill." She paused to let this sink in. "She was just sick."

Jess and a Rider whose name Dalton didn't know nodded. Keith looked utterly bewildered.

Dalton guessed that the Rider women would have good reason for their suspicions and he knew better than to disagree. He nodded and then started down the trail.

He found Selena hunched over in misery a few paces later and passed her his waterskin without comment. She rinsed her mouth out before speaking.

"Thanks," she said. "Sorry about—"

"How late are you?" he asked casually.

She blinked at him over the rejected remnants of her breakfast.

"I'm asking as an old friend," he assured her, "not as your superior officer."

"Three weeks. And that's how long I've been on this mission so it wasn't obvious until..." She took a cautious sip from the waterskin. "You know, most men would be squeamishly backing away and muttering offers to fetch a healer."

"We don't have a healer with us," Dalton said mildly. "And I believe you've met my wife, Penelope—rather forthright and definitely female—and my old squires, Rissa and Vina, and my former mentor, Lady Alanna."

"I suppose you aren't most men," she conceded.

"He doesn't spook easily," Karyna agreed, coming up to join them. "Candied ginger?" she offered, holding a small sack out to Selena.

Selena took a bit and nibbled very tentatively at it. "Does this really ease nausea?"

"Penelope swore by it," Dalton said, "but she's always loved ginger, so she might just have liked the excuse to eat it every morning."

Selena nodded and took another small nibble. Then she narrowed her eyes at Karyna.

"Why are you carrying it?"

"I wasn't," Karyna said. "I asked Jess to fetch some and then didn't watch to see which pack she stole it from. But lots of people use it for scratchy throats and sore muscles."

"That would explain a good deal," Dalton muttered, thinking of Penelope's almost infuriating ability to roll lightly out of bed the morning after an intense afternoon on the practice courts.

Selena snorted and took another bite. "So," she said, once the rock she sat on grew considerate enough to hold still, "what's the plan?"

"That's up to you," Dalton said. "We'll all be leaving soon. I'm not going to order you to go home immediately."

"And if I want to go now?" she asked.

Dalton shrugged. "I'll escort you then." It would be the perfect reason to return to his own family. "I'll just inform Elrich that you're…feeling unwell and have him keep Keith and Karyna as his seconds."

PDPDPD

The entire camp was resting quietly through the hottest hours of midday, though Rissa had been writing rather than sleeping. She paused and re-read the letter she'd written Byrn. It was all about the prank she'd helped her friend Basim pull on his twin, Basit, who now appeared to have spent the morning simultaneously courting three different girls and stealing goats from two different herds. Better yet, the goats belonged to the girls' brothers.

It made for a long letter and a good story. But there were a few details she hadn't included. Like the way Basim had gripped her shoulder in thanks as they parted ways. It hadn't been a particularly romantic gesture, but since most men in the desert respectfully avoided casual physical contact with her, it had definitely been… significant.

And she'd wanted to kiss his cheek, but worried that would ruin both their friendship and the fragile happiness she'd found from being basically on her own in the desert. For now, she'd sworn she was just going to wait and see what came of their companionship without rushing headlong into another romance.

But all she'd told Byrn about Basim was 'he's also a twin, and rather handsome'. This seemed like a fair exchange—or rather suppression—of information, since he hadn't mentioned his wife since telling her about his engagement. She'd also been wary of introducing Basim to Vina and glad that he'd been away during Vina's visit.

"Hey." Basim's voice sounded from a few feet outside her tent. "Want to come hunting?"

"Sure." Rissa hastily folded the letter and kissed it. "Coming." She checked her boots for scorpions and then shoved her feet in before hurrying out to join him.

PDPDPD

Dalton had forgotten to take intuition and appearances into account. Once he announced that he would be escorting Selena home because she felt 'unwell', the suspicion that the Rider women had left unspoken somehow spread through the camp in a swirl of rumor.

Elrich, who'd always treated Penelope politely and therefore gotten along with Dalton, scowled angrily when Dalton came to discuss the command with him.

"Is it yours?" he demanded.

Dalton blinked.

"Is she with child?" Elrich demanded. "And is it yours? Because that's where most of the money is right now." He gestured to a cluster of laughing knights. "You have a wife and child at home and you've been out…"

Dalton knew that interrupting with a protest would only make him look guilty so he let the man sputter to an outraged stop.

"If she has a baby," he said calmly. "I'm sure her husband will be a proud father." He moved to pick up his gear. "For the moment, I am merely escorting her back to the palace as she feels unfit for her current duties."

Elrich sighed loudly, as though partially conceding Dalton's point. "You're acting responsibly. You look either extremely chivalrous or very guilty."

"I see," Dalton said. "And why are we under observation?"

Elrich had the grace to look somewhat abashed by his lack of a ready answer so Dalton nodded politely at him and went to join Selena.

PDPDPD

"Anything I can do for you?" Dalton asked when they stopped to rest and water their horses.

"I'm fine," Selena said, speaking firmly even if she looked a little ragged. "Unless you can transform my horse into a magic carpet."

"Sorry." Dalton mustered a smile. "I wasn't paying attention when they taught that one."

Selena grinned weakly and they both lapsed into silence again.

"Want to talk about the rumors?" she asked finally.

"Not any more than I wanted to camp in the mud all week," he said. But that had been just as necessary.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I never meant for…"

"I know," he said. "I honestly didn't mind when it was just us—it was amusing even—but if our children are going to be dragged into—"

"Althea isn't," Selena assured him. "I haven't heard a single rumor suggesting that she isn't yours. And no one has accused Penelope of being unfaithful. I mean they used to talk about her and Neal before you were married and I sometimes hear claims that the two of you used a powerful love potion or that you sacrifice animals together under the full moon—"

Dalton snorted.

"But basically—and maybe it's because of the baby or maybe it's because nobody wants to risk the embarrassment of losing a duel to her—she's become untouchable."

Dalton nodded in grudging agreement.

"It's funny though," Selena continued, "I think your reputation is worse than your wife's. Or maybe some men would say it's better. I mean, you have seven or so steady mistresses."

Dalton winced.

"And I've had"—she paused to count on her fingers—"eight women—nobles and Riders—come up and ask if you're as good as you look."

"Eight?" Dalton repeated.

"Well, nine, if you count Karyna, but she was just repeating the question to see if Vina would actually be able to shove her ears inside her head."

"I'd like to," Dalton muttered. "How did you answer?"

"I usually told them they should let me know if they found it," she said. "But one time Penelope was with me and she just put her hand on her sword hilt and said that actually you were much better, but that she'd be forced to silence anyone who found it out." Selena grinned. "I think the poor girl almost wet herself."

"I hadn't realized I was such a commodity."

"I think that's part of your charm," Selena informed him.

"So if I started flirting with everyone there might be fewer rumors?" Dalton wondered.

Selena considered for a moment. "Possibly. But I'm afraid that's what most interests the gossipers—who we're attracted to and why." She shook her head and took a long swig of water. "I mean, Penelope's a young noblewoman who married a knight. That makes her fairly boring."

"From a distance, I suppose," Dalton conceded, though 'boring' was the last word he would choose to describe Penelope.

"You, on the other hand, married a lady knight, therefore, according to the law of social insinuation, you must be sleeping with all of us."

"Except Vina," Dalton muttered.

"That's because it's even more interesting to speculate about Karyna now that people have noticed her in the knights' wing." Selena dug out a bit of crystallized ginger and made a face before nibbling at it. "Plus there's always the possibility Vina will have an affair with Alanna or something."

Dalton winced. "That would end…bloodily."

"To put it mildly." Selena nodded. "Then there's me," she continued somewhat bitterly. "I married a common blacksmith, ergo I'm probably willing to sleep with almost anyone."

"They're all idiots," Dalton said. "After everything you've sacrificed to be with Jeck, they should—"

"I know." Selena popped a last piece of ginger in her mouth and tucked the sack away. "If I were ever to have an affair, it would be with you," she assured him cheerfully.

Dalton raised an eyebrow. "I suppose Jeck has nothing to worry about then. You must be pregnant," he added. "You're not usually this brutally candid."

She laughed, looking away. "I know." She shook her head. "But it seems too good to be true." She swallowed. "Jeck and—we've been trying all spring." She shrugged awkwardly. "I'd decided I was going away too often and that maybe Wyldon was right when he told me—"

"You discussed—um, procreation with Wyldon?" Dalton asked, half expecting the sky to turn purple or the ground to spew lightning.

"It was a highly hypothetical conversation," Selena admitted. "He's very capable of indirect hedging if you really unsettle him."

"I'll take your word for it," Dalton told her. Then his curiosity got the better of him. "What did he say?"

"Basically that if I wasn't ready to admit that I would have no real control over the timing then I probably shouldn't be considering children since they're like Stormwings interrupting an organized battleplan."

"In bad weather," Dalton added, "and when you're already low on arrows."

Selena shrugged. "So it just seems unbelievable right now."

"I'd trust in the undoubtedly bad timing of realizing it out here," Dalton told her. " 'Supreme inconvenience is almost as good as indisputable proof'—or so Neal says anyway."

"How am I going to tell Jeck?" she wondered.

"With words," Dalton informed her, "and preferably after making sure that he isn't standing beneath anything that might brain him if he jumps up in excitement."

PDPDPD

Jeck always woke early when Selena wasn't sleeping beside him. He scratched Shadow behind the ears and started down the stairs, thinking that he might get in a few hours work before breakfast. He very nearly collided with Sara as she stumbled up the stairs in a dressing gown.

"Huh—" he managed.

"Um." Sara blushed and glanced back at Jason's door. "Morning."

"Morning," Jeck returned as Jason emerged from his room and shot him a say-anything-and-you-won't-see-bacon-for-weeks look.

Jeck nodded at both of them and continued down the stairs. He didn't say anything until he'd secured ample quantities of porridge and bacon. Then he glanced over and saw that they were sharing a plate of toast.

"I should have known," he said.

"Selena said it would take you several weeks to notice," Sara informed him.

"It isn't really any of my business," he said, as though this explained his obliviousness. "But—" He shrugged, smiled, and reached for another slice of bacon.

Jason nodded at both of them and got up to tend the stove.

Sara glanced nervously at Jeck and then studied her tea.

"You're confusing garden variety early morning glowering with disapproval," he informed her. "But I want to discuss something with you."

Sara swallowed nervously. Jeck couldn't resist the temptation to let her squirm for a few more seconds.

"You've only been here about a year," he said, "but your work is top notch. You need practice to refine your skills—we all do—but I'm not sure that there's much more I could actually teach you as an apprentice."

"Oh."

"That said," he continued. "I'm not sure that Jason and I could manage all our work without you. More to the point, I'm not sure I could manage Jason without you. I mean, he puts on a tough and jovial act, but we both know he's a something of a sensitive artist underneath."

A lump of stale untoasted bread hit Jeck just above the ear.

"I heard that," Jason called from the kitchen.

"I meant it," Jeck called back.

"You're asking me to stay on after…" Sara said finally.

Jeck nodded and she grinned widely.

"If you want the upstairs room back," she offered, "I can move my things to—"

"No," he said, more quietly, so that Jason wouldn't hear.

She blinked warily.

"The room is in your contract," he explained hurriedly. "You have to keep the room or I'm breaking my word. You don't have to sleep in it—or Jason can—but should have a place to call your own, just in case."

"Oh," she said. "And you should find a new outlet for your overprotective streak." Then she mercifully changed the subject as Jason returned to the table. "What are we working on today?"

PDPDPD

When Jeck stopped by the stables to discuss an order of horse shoes, he was rather surprised (for the third or fourth time that day) to find Selena's horse already in her stall a day or so early and before Selena had come to greet him.

"Jeck!" Selena hurried towards him from the direction of the palace.

"You're back?" he murmured.

She nodded, smiling. "I thought it might be best if we came back early." She let one palm rest briefly against her belly.

"We?" He repeated, scanning her face urgently. He glanced uncertainly back at Dalton, who was following with one of her bags. She was relieved to see that just looked puzzled, not suspicious or jealous.

'Words' Dalton mouthed. Then he dropped her bag and darted for an unobtrusive corner.

Selena's vocabulary melted under Jeck's attentive gaze and she had to wait a moment for the words she wanted to return. And they still came out in an excited, overwhelmed scramble.

"I realized—I wanted to be sure. So I went to the infirmary first. But everything's alright, with the baby, I mean."

"You…oh."

She nodded hastily and leapt into the arms he stretched towards her.

"Well." He grinned helplessly, completely forgetting the matter of horseshoes, and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Maybe we'll renegotiate with Sara about that room."

PDPDPD

Two days later, Vina returned from her brief imprisonment—stay, she tried to correct herself mentally—at the Lanton estate. She found the note Karyna had left—she had gotten in that morning and was now at a Rider meeting, but she told Vina to 'go meet your adorable godsdaughter because I want her if you don't'—and plopped down on the floor beside her bags. She didn't even have the energy to get up and change clothes. But closing her eyes did no good; she still saw her mother flinch sympathetically as her father's words echoed across the table.

_I should never have permitted this nonsense…If I'd known how your sister would disgrace herself…At least those scars on your arm scare aware the unsuitable suitors with the suitable…_

Finally Vina scrambled to her feet and rummaged for the last of her clean clothes. If she sat still for too long, she'd start imagining what he'd say if—when, really, it was only a matter of time—he heard about Karyna or realized Rissa was still writing Byrn. She dropped her dirty clothes on the floor and almost slammed the door behind her as she started down the hall.

Penelope answered Vina's knock. She smiled dazedly over her baby—she was holding Althea with a tenderness that made Vina enviously aware of the fact that she could not expect to have children—and murmured Dalton's name.

He looked up from the cradle whose blankets he was rearranging. "Come in, Vina. There's someone you should meet."

"Here," Penelope murmured, passing Althea into Vina's arms. "Here's you godsmother."

Vina had not held a baby since Mindelan's twins had been infants. It seemed almost strange that there was only one of Althea and she could not imagine what she had done to earn Penelope's calm trust. (After all, Penelope had witnessed virtually all of her adolescent stupidity and clumsiness.) She shuffled quickly towards the sofa so that she could sit in safety with the baby.

Althea, for her part, blinked bemusedly up at Vina and made a cooing, burbling sound. Vina cooed reflexively back and forgot about how angry and exhausted she was.

"Go ahead and lean back," Penelope said as Dalton joined them on the sofa. "She'll probably fall asleep against your chest."

"So she can get a good rest and keep us up all night," Dalton muttered fondly.

Vina chuckled softly. Her father and her great aunt Angraine could say what they liked; she and Rissa had family enough at the palace.

PDPDPD

Vina sighed wearily as she passed Althea back to Penelope.

"You look tired," Dalton said. And he had a new appreciation for what tired looked like, since he'd been up for a few nights running with Althea's colic.

Vina nodded. "Next time I start planning to visit my parents without Rissa, please tie me up or sit on me until I think better of it."

"That bad?" Penelope adjusted Althea's blanket and settled back against the sofa.

"My father's still furious with Rissa for her various transgressions," Vina explained. "But he seemed to think scolding me would have an effect on her behavior."

"Your mother's always been supportive though," Penelope said, thinking of the midwinter meal Lady Lanton had deliberately had ruined so that the girls' father would be too busy chewing to criticize them.

"She still is," Vina said sadly. "Only she's too worried to talk about Rissa, which makes my lack of a love life the default topic of conversation. And I can't exactly tell her that she needn't worry because I'm already in love."

"Do you know she'd react badly?" Dalton asked.

"No." Vina shrugged. "But she'd have to deal with it when my father exploded."

"Maybe," Penelope began, "that's a reason to—"

"I'm not using Karyna to pick a fight with my father," Vina snapped. Then she sighed.

"That's sweet. But I wouldn't mind." Karyna slipped through the door and came to lean over the back of the sofa so that her long hair brushed Vina's cheek. "It's actually sort of tempting."

"Tempting fate," Vina muttered. But she smiled and turned her face up.

Karyna kissed her and then gripped her arms to nudge her upright. "Come on. We're being called out. Nasty crop of raiders in the hills."

Vina slumped disgustedly back against the sofa. "But I only just got back."

"I know, sweetheart." Karyna pressed her nose to Vina's cheek. "Me too."

Vina wanted to pull Karyna onto the sofa and stay there for a century. Or curl up in a ball and cry. Or possibly punch someone. She wasn't sure which.

Dalton caught her eye and tapped his nose—an old signal for reminding her to breathe. She did so and felt a bit better for it.

"And Selena won't be going on this one." Penelope managed to pass them a handful of ginger biscuits without disturbing Althea's sleep. Vina had to smile as she took a few and stood up.

"Why not?"

"She's pregnant."

"But you just had a baby," Vina protested.

"There isn't a line," Penelope informed her. "Or there'd be fewer impatient people."

"Oh," Vina said. "Right." She blinked and tapped her temple. "Good for her." She glanced at Karyna to be sure she could get details on the way.

"Who's leading you?" Dalton asked, leaning forward slightly as though he were about to stand up.

"Sir Locksley," Karyna answered through a mouthful of biscuit.

Dalton nodded. "Alright then. He's old-fashioned at times, but honest. And I'm not going anywhere so I'll be quiet now," he added as Penelope pointedly lifted her legs into his lap and Bandit sat on his feet. "Best of luck be with you."

Althea woke with a sudden loud wail.

"And with you" Karyna muttered, shutting the door gently behind Vina.

_So that's all for now—I hope (because I'm naïve and optimistic) to have the next installment up some time this fall. We'll check in with Rissa and see how Fira's punishment duty goes…Thanks for reading! _


	3. Accounting

_Sorry about the long wait for this chapter—I have officially entered the Ph.D. pit of doom (oddly enough it's kind of cozy in here). This chapter picks up just a few days after the previous one (in which Selena realized she was pregnant, Rissa found friends in the desert, Fira was assigned punishment duty for her attempts to redecorate the palace, and Vina was sent out to deal with raiders) and it contains characters and a setting created by Tamora Pierce. Enjoy! _

"Just one kiss," Vina said, but she tangled her fingers through Karyna's and stepped closer. "You have guard duty."

"One," Karyna agreed. She pressed her lips to Vina's cheek. "It's late."

"I know," Vina muttered. "That didn't count."

"This doesn't either, then." Karyna brushed her lips over Vina's other cheek. "You should get some sleep."

"I'm not tired," Vina lied, yawning.

"Really?" Karyna chuckled and ruffled Vina's hair.

"Just exhausted." Vina kissed her shoulder—"definitely doesn't count," she mumbled—and buried her forehead against it. "I've missed you."

"I know." Karyna sighed and pulled her closer. "I still miss you."

She was right, Vina thought. They'd been sent out immediately after Vina returned to the palace—so quickly that Vina hadn't had a chance to pack clean clothes, much less talk about her horrible visit to her family. They were already on the third day of their mission and this was the first chance they'd had to speak.

"This is good though," Vina murmured. "I just need a moment of normal."

"Normal?" Karyna repeated, tapping Vina's thick-enough-to-be-somewhat-arrow-proof leather jerkin and gesturing at her own Rider gear. "I think you might have the wrong girl for that."

"Well," Vina said, "it's just a matter of what one—"

"Well, what do we have here?"

It was Berin, the young knight who'd delighted in besmirching Rissa's reputation. And the man who'd just supplanted Vina's father as her least favorite person.

Vina glared openly at him. Karyna stepped away and resumed her guard duty stance.

"Evening." Sir Locksley coughed quietly as he approached.

Vina took a second to gauge his face. It looked ready to furrow with disapproval. She couldn't tell if he knew about her relationship with Karyna, but she suspected that he didn't want to.

"I was just returning from the erm—"she gestured vaguely towards the women's latrine because she suspected he wouldn't want to hear about that either—"and I thought I would just check in with our guard and make sure there haven't been any disruptions to report."

"I see." He nodded, his face as enigmatic as ever. "Very thoughtful and conscientious of you." He smiled. "But you should get some sleep," he added. "We'll all have a long day tomorrow."

"Of course," Vina smiled politely, but rolled her eyes at Karyna. "Good evening, sir."

Locksley nodded. Berin grinned smugly.

Vina stalked away, adding a lost kiss to the list of irritations Berin had cost her.

PDPDPD

Rissa watched quietly as Basim tended their small campfire.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I would have suggested that we turn around earlier, but I really thought we'd have enough light to get back before nightfall at least until we spotted those hares…"

"This is fine," Rissa assured him. "I don't mind sleeping in my cloak and at least we had plenty to eat." She gestured lazily at the remains of the hare they'd roasted.

"True," Basim agreed. Then he sighed. "My family would not approve of my keeping a young woman out overnight."

"Ah," Rissa mused, "so I am a woman according to your rules." She realized she was flirting and bit her lip to keep from smiling too broadly.

Basim frowned—thoughtfully as though he were truly considering the matter. "I think you're usually a circumstantial man because you've been following that set of rules. I wouldn't have been allowed to invite a woman hunting. But I'm not sure how well the circumstantials hold up in this situation since…" he shook his head.

"There are rules governing the breaking of rules." Rissa dug out her cloak and drew it around her shoulders against the cooling night air. "And there are rules about which people can break which rules."

"In your home too?" Basim grinned and offered her dried apricots from his pack. "Then I suppose you are well-acquainted with the laws of rule-breaking and the ways of rule-breakers."

"Intimately so," Rissa agreed, nibbling on an apricot.

"Indeed?"

"My friend Selena is a noblewoman—a knight, like me—but she married a common smith."

"Ah," Basim remarked, "a refreshingly bold violation of the old 'like must wed like' law."

Rissa smiled and decided that if she couldn't stop flirting with him she would at least be disarmingly honest. "And my sister's lover is a Rider without any noble ancestors to her name."

"Two rules at once," he mused. "Your sister must be ambitious."

"I don't think Vina thinks of herself as a rulebreaker—that's me, I suppose—she'd probably just say she's in love."

"With this woman?" Basim's voice was neutral, as though he were merely clarifying his observation so Rissa simply nodded. "And you?" he continued.

"I prefer men."

"I'm glad to hear it, though I had already assumed so." He turned to replace the apricots in his pack and Rissa suspected he was concealing a smile. "I of all people know that you aren't your twin. But I meant to ask which rules you've broken."

"Oh," Rissa said. "I'm not as interesting."

"I'm interested," Basim insisted.

"I'm not a virgin," Rissa blurted, surprising herself.

"I'm not either," Basim remarked mildly. "Though I think that only counts as a minor infraction." He shrugged. "My story is simple: she had to marry someone else since he had more goats to offer her family."

Then he turned to tend the fire again as though giving her permission to speak freely and without scrutiny.

"I was almost engaged to him," Rissa said. "Not officially, but we had an unspoken…And then he needed to marry immediately and I realized that—after all my training—I couldn't just stay home and help manage his estate and have children. So I broke it off because I didn't want to be a wife and mother." She bit her lip to stop herself from saying too much more.

"Is that why you are out here, living almost as a man?"

Rissa shrugged. "It was time for a change."

"Rissa, I'm not really sure you break rules. I think you've just been writing your own."

Rissa smiled, oddly flattered, and shrugged. "I wouldn't want to run a country with them, but I suppose they work well enough for me." She frowned. "Except when I run up against your desert rules."

"I don't mind." He reached over and set a hand on her shoulder. "In fact, I'd like to hear—what rules would you write for me."

"I wouldn't try to restrict you that way." She glanced down at his hand and realized how wonderful the warmth of his fingers felt. "But I might write some for _us._"

"Such as?" he tilted his head attentively and let his hand drift to her elbow.

Rissa wrapped her own hand over his arm. Basim was leaner than Byrn, but just as strong. She swallowed hesitantly, burying memories. He was also her best and only friend in the desert. He'd always respected her space and now he understand why she'd come here on her own and he seemed to appreciate her reasoning. He'd asked her a question and he deserved an answer.

"This," Rissa murmured and she leant forwards to kiss him.

"I like that one," he said, pulling her into his lap. "I will be careful not to break it."

"Good," Rissa said. "But I think I need to remain almost a man most of the time."

"Of course." He clapped her companionably round the shoulders and then kissed her cheek. "Otherwise we wouldn't be allowed to go riding or hunting together anymore."

Rissa smiled and settled against his chest. "Then what would we talk about at night?"

"I suppose I'd have to irritate you by blathering on about how your eyes resemble stars."

Rissa laughed and then swallowed. "So you understand that we can't rush into…everything."

"My twin will tell you that I am not a man to rush into anything." He tucked a bit of hair back for her. "Except for danger."

"I suppose I should have a chat with your twin at some point," she said lazily.

"No fair," he informed her. "At least you've met him. I didn't even get to see your twin when she visited."

"She looks just like me," Rissa protested, teasingly.

"Still, I practically know more about her sweetheart than about your sister."

"Alright, in exchange, I'll tell you about the time she 'accidentally' flung a goblet of wine into Lord Dorset to get him to stop pestering me." Rissa stretched out her legs and made herself even more comfortable against his chest. "When we were squires we went to a party held for the parents of pages training at the palace…"

PDPDPD

Penelope was in the smithy, chatting with Selena about diaper rash and Shang dragons, when the two pages arrived to fulfill the work punishment they'd been assigned after hanging girls' clothing on suits of armor.

"Good afternoon," Jarif said when Jeck gestured him through the smithy door.

"We're here for our punishment duty," Fira added.

"Weren't you supposed to be punished separately?" Penelope asked from the corner.

"Well," Fira answered, "theoretically we were initially ordered to spend three hours polishing armor and three mucking out stalls separately. But since our Training Master didn't see fit to reiterate this specification when we renegotiated our punishment chores, we assumed it would be more efficient to offer Jeck two sets of hands at once."

Penelope nodded thoughtfully. "And you've never thought of studying law."

Fira shook her head vigorously. "Just carrying around all the books would be exhausting."

"You might reconsider before the afternoon is up," Jeck warned them as he passed each page a bucket. "I need five buckets of coals from each of you under that forge."

They nodded and set to work without complaint. Jeck barely had time to squeeze Selena's shoulder and ask if she needed anything (and be informed that if he and Jason were going to take turns asking then they ought to space their questions out by at least twenty minutes) before Fira tapped his elbow and asked what was next.

He set them to sorting salvageable from hopeless nails, which did make Fira sigh, though very faintly.

"Talk or something," he told them. "It is tedious, but it isn't meant to build character."

Jarif grinned and turned to Fira. "Who do you want to be your knight master?"

Surprisingly, this question did not improve Fira's mood. "It doesn't matter," she said. "No one will want me."

"Because you're a girl?" Jarif asked carefully. He seemed to know he was treading on dangerous ground.

"Because I'm the training master's daughter," Fira said. "So people will either think I'm not capable and I'm only here because of her. Or they won't want me because they'll feel all this extra pressure not to get me killed."

"Trust me," Penelope put in, "all knights feel tremendous pressure to keep their squires safe. I don't think there's room for any extra about it."

"Still," Fira said, "I'm not going to be anyone's top pick." She threw a nail into the hopeless pile with a little more violence than necessary and tapped Jarif. "Who do you want to be your knight master?"

Selena caught Penelope's eye and then tilted her chin speculatively towards Fira.

Penelope grinned and was about to mouth an affirmative when Dalton, who'd been watching Althea, stuck his head through the smithy door. "Pen, she's been fussing for the last ten—"

She'd crossed the room and scooped Althea out of his arms before he could finish.

He grinned in dazed relief and waved at Jeck. "Don't go too easy on them. They did temporarily deface royal property."

PDPDPD

"Well," Jeck said, surveying all that Fira and Jarif had done, " I think it's fair for you to leave a few minutes early since you didn't take a break. You've certainly set a good example for my apprentice," he added, glancing pointedly at Sara, whose rather lengthy break seemed to have coincided perfectly with Jason's.

Sara grinned cheekily back at him and made her own pointed glance toward Selena, as though to reminding Jeck of all the time he'd wasted wandering off to check on her. Selena winked at Sara.

"Are you sure?" Fira asked. "Because we could clean the—"

Jarif covered her mouth with his hand. "Thank you, sir—er, Jeck." He shrugged and both pages started for the door.

"Fira," Selena called, coming to a sudden decision. "Could you stay a moment? I've a favor to ask."

Fira was accustomed to being used as a messenger by people who wanted to communicate with her parents and she shrugged resignedly and told Jarif she would meet him at the stables.

Selena motioned for Fira to sit beside her on the bench

"Is this going to be another of those you-just-don't-have-enough-confidence lectures?" Fira asked. "Because those are the exact opposite of helpful and I've already done a lot of eye rolling this week."

"No." Selena smiled. "Those usually just gave me one more thing to feel inadequate over or made me want to punch the person talking to me. Which sometimes made me feel guilt for having unchivalrous impulses."

Fira smiled and lifted an eyebrow, indicating that she was willing to listen.

Selena smiled back. "Something you said earlier suggested a solution to a problem I've been trying to solve for the last few years."

"What did I—"

Selena held up a hand to silence her. "Most new knights get a squire soon after earning their shields," she said. "So I'm already a year or two behind schedule. I'm not exactly the sort of mentor most squires plan on. And now that—"

"Wait," Fira said, a smile sneaking across her face. "Are you saying I could—"

Selena nodded, grinning at the thought that they already seemed to understand one another's unfinished sentences. "I would very much appreciate it if you would be willing to be my squire."

"I think so," Fira said, dampening her enthusiasm for fear she'd appear unserious. Or hear Selena change her mind.

"We'll throw in free armor," Jeck said as he stopped by to touch Selena's shoulder.

"Probably then." Fira nodded speculatively and then let a grin streak across her face.

"I'll give you a few days to change your mind and then I'm going to talk to your mother," Selena warned. "And I reserve the right to change my mind if you aren't carrying out your current duties…including getting into mischief with your friends."

They shook hands briefly and Fira departed for the stables.

PDPDPD

Vina found Karyna leaning against a tree, watching the woods as she waited for a pair of Rider scouts to return.

"Hey, finally."

Karyna smiled and gestured for Vina to sit beside her.

"Sorry about last night," she said.

"Don't be. Locksley doesn't need to know about us."

Vina shrugged. "Not while he's putting such a concentrated effort into remaining unaware. Though I'm a little worried Berin might…"

But Vina never got the chance to work out just what she was worried Berin might do before one of the scouts emerged from the woods and dismounted.

"The whole band's coming up through the woods," Jess said. "I'd say there's about forty headed in our direction. And they don't look like they're coming for a pleasant supper."

"Right," Vina muttered, standing up. This was urgent enough to warrant interrupting Sir Locksley's dinner. "How long?"

"Some of them are drinking and half are on foot," Jess said, "so it's hard to tell, but I'd guess an hour."

"Thank you," Vina said. "Please get—"

"Where's Goff?" Karyna cut in, "he was supposed to stick with you." And Vina realized guiltily that she'd been about to issue a Rider orders—something that might undermine Karyna's authority.

"I'm going to go inform Locksley," Vina said as Jess started explaining that she'd lost track of the other scout.

She found Locksley and Berin eating together beside his tent and told them what Jess had reported. Locksley immediately summoned the entire camp and outlined his plan for their counterattack. It involved dividing the knights and Riders and then having them trap the enemy against the hillside , but it overlooked the possibility that the bandits themselves would likely break into groups.

"Sir," Vina said. "Have you considered spreading the Riders out in the woods to round up stragglers. It might be safer than…" She quickly swallowed her words when she saw the disapproving glower erupt across his face.

"I understand that you wish to protect your…friends among the Riders," Locksley said, "but you cannot allow yourself to be blinded such cares. I expect you to pass along my orders," he added, before walking off to retrieve his horse.

"Captain." The word felt odd in Vina's mouth. It wasn't what she called Karyna. It reminded her terribly of all the Rider captains she'd seen killed in the course of duty.

Karyna met Vina's eyes and nodded. Berin was busy nearby, but probably listening to both of them.

"Take your riders around and meet us around the other side of the hill." The order made even less sense when she heard herself repeat it. The Riders weren't a cavalry unit for charges across open meadows. They were good at spreading out and tracking small groups of through the woods.

Karyna's nostrils flared briefly and she opened her mouth as though to protest. Then she closed her eyes briefly. "Will do."

"Take care," Vina said. It was as close as she could come to _I love you. _

"Of course." Karyna passed close enough to casually brush arms with Vina on her way by. _I know. It's alright. _

PDPDPD

Vina was still gritting her teeth in anger and avoiding Locksley's eye as she took up her position beside him. She kept her eyes on her hands, reminding herself not to clench her horse's reins too tightly. He'd only been doing his job.

Then there was a grunt beside her and Vina looked up to find that the raiders were swarming from the hills and that one of their arrows had already lodged in Locksley's throat.

Berin took command immediately and to Vina's (almost disappointed) surprise he proved quite competent at spur-of-the-moment defensive tactics. (She didn't mind too much, given that he forgot to be unpleasant while he was busy saving all their lives.) He got the knights organized (though he largely overlooked the Riders) and, within another hour, all the bandits had fled or been subdued.

Without waiting for orders from anyone (since it technically was no longer clear who ought to be giving them) Vina quickly started searching the chaos. She nearly tripped over Jess, whose thigh was gushing blood through a long gash, and abandoned her search and knelt to staunch the blood. In Vina's mind, Jess was still the scrappy fourteen-year-old who'd had the audacity to tackle Penelope, and it rattled her to see the girl hurt.

"Thanks." Karyna briefly wrapped an arm around Vina's shoulders, before checking Jess's injury. "Here. The bleeding's slowed enough for me to bandage it if you need to go check in with the other knights."

"I should." Vina got clumsily to her feet and took one last look at the two of them, bloodied and tired, and walked reluctantly away.

The news that greeted her wasn't good. In addition to Locksley's death, five Riders had been killed, and several knights and Riders had serious wounds.

"It's mostly your fault, you know," Berin told her.

Vina blinked, but didn't argue. If she'd stood firm against Locksley, if she'd convinced him to change his mind, things might have happened differently. And Jess might not have been hurt.

"If you hadn't been trying to arrange things so that _she_ could show off," Berin continued, raising his voice a little so that the other knights would be sure to hear, "then you wouldn't have argued with Locksley. And if you hadn't been distracted about not getting your way, you'd have kept him from getting shot."

_If I'd actually managed that, _Vina thought bitterly, _you'd have called it pure dumb luck. _But she couldn't muster her voice to say it because her traitor tongue seemed to think Berin was correct.

"That's the trouble with two women together," another knight added, "neither of you thinks rationally."

Berin smirked at Vina. "At least your sister finds men to—"

"We've discussed her before," Vina said sharply, hoping he would remember that she'd socked him in the jaw on that occasion. "I take it I'm dismissed for the time being."

He nodded. "I've no need for your input. Go tell your incompetent Rider captain to gather her bodies and get her group ready to ride."

PDPDPD

Claiming a sudden concern for returning Locksley's body before it deteriorated too much in the late summer heat, Berin kept them at a pace that seemed like a compromise between fleeing and making a forced march. Between assisting the injured and keeping their prisoners under guard, Vina had no time or energy to butt heads with Berin. She simply kept her head down and her teeth gritted. She tried not to look at Jess's pale face and spoke as little as possible.

By the time they arrived at the palace—well past supper time and long after dark—and staggered into the stables, Vina thought she'd remembered her final exchange with Locksley at least a hundred times, combing through the details to determine just how culpable she was. She'd watched him slump forwards again and again in her mind's eye and wondered what she could have done differently.

She poured all her energy into currying her horse, but she couldn't shake the images from memory. She started violently when a hand clasped her shoulder.

"So," Karyna murmured, "I know you'll have duties at the palace, but maybe after—"

"Don't remind me of my duties," Vina snapped. "I've walked away from enough of them for you."

"You've used me as an excuse to duck out of unpleasant obligations," Karyna corrected, easily matching Vina's angry tone. "You can't claim you're sacrificing anything for me that you wouldn't gladly give away."

"And you've used me to bolster your position in the Riders." Vina threw her horses' brushes into the storage bin beside his stall and slung her gear over her shoulders

"How can you say that?" Karyna demanded reaching for her shoulder and then turning aside. "I haven't asked to exert any 'noble influence' for me. I never asked to become your pet project. You know I tried to avoid getting promoted for your sake." She sloshed water into a bucket for Vina's horse. "Maybe that was a mistaken experiment."

"Was it for my sake?" Vina asked, stepping angrily away. "Or because you thought you couldn't handle it?"

Silence stretched between them for a few seconds, broken only by the incessant pawing of Vina's horse. Even the other knights seemed to have slowed their own chores as they listened, which only flustered Vina more.

"I guess I can't," Karyna said. "Not when I'm forced to follow irrational orders from people like you." She dumped a scoop of grain in the feed bin for Vina's horse and stalked away, leaving Vina blinking away tears of shame.

_You're either missing a spine, a heart, or a brain. _Vina could practically hear Rissa hissing in her ear. _Possibly all three. She's right be furious with you for following along with Locksley and getting her people killed. Then you listened to Berin and let him change the way you treat her. _

Vina couldn't think of a single reply to this imagined commentary so she burst into a run to avoid it. She was at Penelope and Dalton's door before she remembered that they had a baby now and she shouldn't be disturbing them just because she was too upset to think of sleeping. Then she heard Althea howling inside and decided it probably wouldn't make a difference.

PDPDPD

Penelope rolled out of bed in response to her daughter's cry and was halfway to the cradle before she realized she was awake. It was the same kind of instinctive reaction that had once had her reaching for weapons.

"Stay there," she said when she saw Dalton lifting his head. "One of us should be getting some sleep."

"That could be you." He yawned and climbed out of bed to kiss Penelope's cheek and smooth back Althea's hair. He glanced back at their bed. "Then again Bandit seems to be doing enough sleeping for all three of us." Their dog had just stretched all four limbs—twitching with dreams of rabbits—out so that he took up most of the mattress and he was snoring loudly enough to be heard over Althea's wails.

"Shush," Penelope murmured beginning to pace soothingly around the sitting room.

"Hello." Vina's voice was so ragged Penelope almost didn't recognize it. She exchanged a worried glance with Dalton as he moved to open the door.

"Vina," Dalton said, reaching for her elbow when she hesitated in the doorway.

"Thanks," she croaked, trying to muster enthusiasm as Penelope stepped closer. "She's adorable."

"When she's quiet anyway," Penelope muttered fondly. "She's certainly loud at the moment," she added, though her daughter's volume was gradually decreasing. She continued pacing as she surveyed Vina. "What happened?"

"Our commander got shot…I fought with—because Berin blamed me for what…" Vina realized she wasn't making any sense and forced herself to slow down and confess with detail and in chronological order. At least she knew that she'd be in good company if she dissolved into sobs.

They listened with the saintly patience of new parents who know they're going to be up all night anyway, letting her talk herself out as Althea drifted from crying to quiet blinking.

…but it's hard when you're stuck between someone who's supposed to be in command and someone you love." Vina shook her head, wishing she hadn't finished with something so close to an excuse.

"Of course it is," Penelope agreed, gesturing for Dalton to check and see if Althea's eyes were still open. "But the solution is also simple. You just have to realize that there are rare occasions—emergencies, formal events, etcetera -when rank and rules really matter."

"But they're not the basis for your relationship," Dalton added, stepping up beside Penelope, kissing her cheek, and shifting Althea into his arms so that Penelope could rest while he paced with the baby.

"And the rest of the time," Penelope said, sitting beside Vina and offering her a handkerchief, "you relax and run on your own rules. And that means you argue occasionally and then apologize."

"And Vina," Dalton whispered because Althea was asleep at last, "don't be afraid to speak up out there. You and Karyna know what you're doing and you don't tend to take unnecessary risks."

"It might actually be easier once you're in command of missions and not just a middleman," Penelope agreed.

Vina nodded gratefully.

"And just ignore the gossip," Dalton told her, "because if you can't, I'll have to kiss Karyna to give them all something else to talk about."

"Then I'd run away with Penelope and they wouldn't talk about anything else for a month," Vina said, mustering up an almost-smile as she left.

PDPDPD

Karyna was sitting crosslegged beside the door. She waited until Vina reached it before lifting her head.

"Hey," Vina murmured

"Hey." Karyna swallowed and tucked back the hair that had escaped her braid.

"Where's your key?" Vina asked, trying not to read too much into the fact that Karyna hadn't let herself in.

"I came to apologize," she said, getting to her feet.

"But you were right." Vina felt herself blushing with shame.

Karyna shrugged and ducked her head. "Only about the last part."

"No," Vina said, "I shouldn't have…" she sighed.

"Just kiss her already," Keith said, sizing them up as he passed by with a bottle of port in one hand and a meat pie in the other.

They blinked at one another and Vina reached out to grasp Karyna's elbow.

"Let's make tea."

Karyna nodded gratefully and used her own key to open the door. While the water boiled, they opened the windows, bundled all Vina's dirty clothes together to be laundered, swept up a few dust bunnies, and shook out the quilt. They didn't speak, Vina realized to her reassurance, because they didn't need to.

It was only after she'd poured two cups of tea and added sugar to them that Karyna spoke.

"So, where'd you go?"

"Penelope and Dalton." Vina sighed as the tea began to warm her hands. "You?"

"Jeck's." Karyna smiled wistfully. "There's always plenty of decent ale there and he understands, well, not exactly what it's like for us…but he knows what it means to be a commoner who loves a noble."

Vina flinched. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up—"

"You didn't. I was just repeating something I'd heard earlier." She looked away so miserably that Vina scooted over until their knees were touching. "I don't actually feel like your pet project," she added quietly.

"Good," Vina muttered, "I don't have time for one." She paused thoughtfully. "And you're more of a beloved giraffe anyway."

Karyna raised an eyebrow.

"You're tall and beautiful and you attract lots of attention and no one thinks I should be allowed to keep you."

Karyna snorted quietly into her tea. "No one thinks…"

"I know," Vina murmured. "Stupid thing to fight over." She buried eyes in her mug until Karyna nudged her shoulder.

"At least it wasn't about us—not really—it was about all the stuff happening to each of us."

Vina smiled half-heartedly. "Stuff that isn't going to change. I mean we're always going to have to work with…"She sighed and repeated Dalton's advice.

"Jeck said something fairly similar about rank," Karyna admitted, "and Selena nodded vaguely between trips to the chamberpot—apparently she has midnight morning sickness—but Jason gave me love advice for the ages this evening."

"Really?" Vina pressed a tentative kiss to Karyna's forehead.

"He stuck his head out of Sara's room—that still startles Jeck a little—and whispered 'just don't be an idiot'." Karyna smiled and stood to help Vina clear the tea things. "Really, he's far wiser than the rest of us give him credit for."

Vina grinned. "Well, we'll just have to work on avoiding idiocy then."

Karyna nodded and tucked back a bit of Vina's hair. "I have to go write letters for the parents of the Riders I lost," she murmured reluctantly.

"You didn't lose them," Vina said. "It wasn't your fault."

She winced. "It's always my fault. It doesn't matter what I know happened. In my head, it's always my fault because I was supposed to be the one leading them home." She frowned. "And then I need to speak with their friends and figure out what to do about their ponies and—"

"It will all still be just as bad in the morning," Vina assured her. "So you might as well wait until then and face it at your best." She pointedly pulled back the blankets on the bed.

Karyna shrugged and glanced once more at the door before crawling in beside her. "Where did you get that idea?"

"From a very pretty idiot who doesn't always think to follow her own common-sense advice."

"mmmph." Karyna buried her nose briefly under Vina's shoulder and wrapped an arm around her, already half unconscious. "Remind me to oversleep."

Vina was too busy thinking to close her eyes. "Remind me to invite you next time Rissa and I visit our parents," she said finally.

"Really?" Karyna yawned. "Are you—"

"They're going to get wind eventually," Vina reasoned. "And I think it's time for me to deal with…stuff there."

"Good," Karyna muttered. "That _sounds _so simple." Her soft laughter dissolved into snores, a feat Vina couldn't help admiring.

PDPDPD

Selena decided that it would be best to speak with Kel before attempting breakfast, so she made her way to the practice courts first thing in the morning.

"Congratulations," Kel said.

Selena blinked and then realized that she hadn't actually seen Kel since learning that she was pregnant.

"Could I have a word?" she asked.

"Of course." Kel seemed puzzled.

"About Fira," Selena clarified. "She seemed convinced the other day that no one will want to ask for her as a squire, so I thought that I might as well—"

"Are you offering to be her knight-master?" Kel asked. "Years in advance?"

"Yes," Selena said. "I would understand if you didn't think I'd be suitable given —" she gestured down her torso.

"Don't be ridiculous," Kel said. "You could use the help and it will let me see her often without her feeling like she's chained to a palace desk. I'd be most grateful." She smiled, hoping this might encourage Fira to settle down and concentrate, though she had no illusion that her daughter's mischief would ever cease completely. "Just let me ask her first so she doesn't say no just on the principle of disagreeing with me."

"Um," Selena said. "I've sort of already done that." She shrugged apologetically. "I wanted her to know it really was my idea since she's worried you're going to have trouble finding someone to farm her out to."

"I assume she said yes then," Kel said, "or you wouldn't be here."

"She said 'probably'," Selena said, "in a very shrewd tone."

"Sorry about that," Kel muttered, "I think her father exposed her to too many practical jokes at a young age."

"So you only claim responsibility for the unwaveringly stubborn demeanor?"

"And then only when it isn't directed against me," Kel said shaking her head. "Really, though, she's very much her own person. I just get the privilege of worrying about her and I'm happy to share that with you. Just encourage her to run the idea by me first if she's thinking about getting married or joining the circus."

"Will do." Selena grinned. "Not that you're equating the two."

"Getting married and joining the circus?" Kel said with twinkling eyes and a perfectly straight face. "Not at all."

PDPDPD

"I'm too tired to remember what we said last night," Dalton informed Penelope as he helped her adjust Althea's sling, "but it must have been brilliant."

Bandit whined in agreement and started off towards Vina and Karyna, who leant against the next pasture fence with their arms linked.

"Or just plain sensible," Penelope muttered, tilting her head back to smile at him.

Vina disentangled herself to scratch Bandit's ears and walk over to Dalton and Penelope. "Thanks," she said simply before walking back across the courts.

Keith was standing by Karyna when she returned.

"Are you two made up yet?" he asked, holding up a folded paper. "Because I need advice."

"Um," Vina offered helpfully. "What about?"

"I'm attempting to court Dalton's sister by letter," he whispered.

"Good luck," Karyna muttered.

"And I thought," Keith continued doggedly, "that if I got two expert opinions at once…"

"I have an idea," Vina said brightly. She beckoned Dalton. "Let's go straight to the best available authority."

_Alright, folks, that's all until my next bout of procrastination. Best wishes to everyone this fall!_


	4. Unfinished

_Hello again! Sorry about the sixth month delay between chapters. This one takes place about 4 months after the last (in which Selena asked Fira to be her future squire, Vina and Karyna fought after a difficult mission, Rissa had an unexpected romantic supper with Basim, and Keith decided to begin courting Dalton's sister Arielle by letter) so baby Althea is now about 6 months old (for those who prefer keeping track that way). Setting and certain characters belong to Tamora Pierce, the rest stem from the mind of an overloaded grad student. Serious fluff ahead—happy reading! _

Penelope was using her left foot to nudge Althea's cradle and her right hand to generate a supply list for the Own's upcoming training exercise when Dom called her name.

"It's almost finished," she assured him without looking up.

"Good," Dom said, "but I don't need it yet. I'm actually here because Kel's got some sort of conference with Wyldon and the king this afternoon and she asked me to invite you along."

"Oh," Penelope said, her mind instantly running through a list of people she could ask to watch her daughter. Dalton and Vina and Karyna were tackling a group of bandits, Neal would probably be at the meeting, and the smithy would be too far out of the way…

"Here." Dom scooped Althea up. "I would offer to carry your paperwork, but your baby has a better smile."

Selena was already there when they arrived and Penelope hurried to join her in an unobtrusive corner once she'd reclaimed her daughter from the adoring clerk Dom had passed her off to.

"I haven't seen you in weeks," Penelope said.

"Just one." Selena cast a rueful glance at her growing belly. "But it still feels like ages. We should sit down with tea after this, assuming the king isn't declaring war or anything."

"Even then," Penelope said. "Though Jason had better make an extra batch of those honey-ginger cakes if there's been a large-scale invasion."

Jon cleared his throat loudly, putting an end to their whispers.

"Good afternoon. Lady Knight Keladry and I are both delighted that you could join us here today in honoring Lord Wyldon's long and dedicated career and to wish him luck as he begins yet another endeavor for all of us."

Wyldon tilted his head in a discrete but definite sign of puzzlement.

"But perhaps," the king added hurriedly, "I had best turn matters over to our current training master."

Neal sat back in his chair, eyes wide as though he were watching a particularly fierce and entertaining duel. Kel swallowed and quickly cleared the bewilderment from her face.

"Lord Wyldon, I've always respected your abilities, but in the years since I've taken on your old job and discovered just how difficult and thankless it can be, I've come to admire your patience and wisdom. Your contribution to this realm has been invaluable."

"Are you rehearsing my eulogy?" Wyldon asked. "If not, please make whatever point our king has in mind."

Kel nodded, smiling very faintly, and then stubbornly continued her speech. "It has truly been an honor to have your example, and more importantly, your advice before me and I'm sure Queenscove would join me in voicing his appreciation," she added.

"Indeed," Neal agreed, after prompting from Penelope's elbow.

"You've worked through difficult, even radical times," Kel continued. "And you've always helped to preserve our best traditions while letting go of those that might have…hindered certain prospective students."

Wyldon nodded in begrudging acknowledgement.

"But there is one worthy tradition that you haven't turned your attention to yet. It is customary for distinguished knights to chronicle their accomplishments in memoirs or books…And you've done so much for the knights of Tortall that it would be a shame if—that is we feel we—"

"I've trained hundreds of pages and squires and won dozens of battles. And now you want me to write down everything I know about life, love, and proper jousting techniques before I kick the bucket," Wyldon said.

"Exactly," Selena chimed in, knowing that euphemistic beating around the bush would be worse than useless with Wyldon. "I'll even do the writing myself. You just have to dictate."

PDPDPD

An hour later, Penelope, Althea, Selena, and Wyldon were sitting at a spare table in the infirmary—which Neal had volunteered as a quiet workspace, probably for his own entertainment—and Wyldon was looking more uncertain than Penelope had ever seen him. The man who'd always had the right advice for her had no idea what to say about his own life. And she had no idea how to help him.

"Have you tried pacing, sir?" Neal asked.

"It doesn't seem to improve your work," Wyldon remarked, though he did shift in his chair, assuming an even more upright posture.

"hmmm," Neal said, refusing to take any offense, "perhaps drumming your fingers on the table."

Instead, Wyldon shot Neal the kind of stare he'd once used to make pages squirm and seemed to draw inspiration from the familiar act.

"At the end of my tenth summer," he began, "I accompanied my father on a journey along…" He shook his head thoughtfully. "That may not be the best place to begin."

"But you have to start somewhere," Selena said.

Fira staggered through the infirmary door before he could start again.

"What have you done this time?"

"Superficial abrasions and substantial bruising above the patella." The words rolled calmly off her tongue as though she had been waiting for him to ask. "No need to use your Gift or anything. You can just clean it out and give me some ice and I'll be good and sit still while the swelling goes down."

Neal narrowed his eyes at the young stoic. "And how did you acquire this glorified scraped knee?"

"I fell."

Wyldon's skeptical throat clearing was just loud enough to register.

"After I decided it would be a good day to try jumping over the log that's fallen across the pond."

"How so?" Neal said as he rolled her trouser leg over her knee.

"Well Jarif had just told me not to—"

"You might as well have stupid friends if you aren't going to listen to them." Neal glanced once at Penelope (who decided that just because she was somebody's mother was no reason to refrain from sticking her tongue out at him) and then squinted at the injury. "This has bits of pine needle in it."

"Also," Fira continued, " I figured that even if it didn't work out, this would be a good afternoon to spend in the infirmary." She fixed her gaze directly on Wyldon. "You used to tell the best stories when I was little, but I can't possibly have heard all of them yet."

"Plus twenty points for pluck and honesty," Selena said, grinning at her future squire. "She stays."

Wyldon put a hand to his chin and thought for a moment. "I once stole a horse because my cousin dared me to." His expression turned almost smug when he saw that he all of their rapt attention. "I was eight. He was ten. My uncle had taken us to a horse fair and we wandered over to look at some of the untrained animals…"

Althea had fallen fast asleep by the time he got around to describing his first year as a page. And, despite her interest, Penelope started nodding off towards the end of his page years. With Dalton away, she'd been up half the night with her teething baby.

"That might be enough for one day," Neal remarked, jolting Penelope back to the present.

"Quite," Selena murmured, hastily dropping her quill to massage her hand.

"Very well," Wyldon said.

"Shall we resume at the same time tomorrow afternoon, sir?" Selena asked.

"That will do if you have no other pressing commitments," Wyldon answered.

"None in the immediate future." Selena took her time packing up as the others left.

"Go get some rest then" Wyldon wrapped his fingers over Selena's, "but make sure that smith doesn't coddle you too much."

"Never, my lord." Selena grinned and squeezed his hand.

PDPDPD

"Think that's all of them?" Karyna asked after their dawn attack on a camp of bandits. It was midwinter's eve, they'd spent the last two weeks rounding up criminals, and they were all eager to be starting out for home.

Dalton surveyed the ten men they were tying up and the four that had been killed.

"Yes," one of the prisoners said. "All of us. I'd swear to it."

Dalton glanced at Vina, who nodded her agreement. He'd spoken too quickly, probably lying.

"Sweep the perimeter again, on foot," he ordered her, "make sure no one's been overlooked." He scowled at the knot he was tying to secure their prisoners. "Take Keith with you," he added.

Vina nodded and turned to find her usually cheerful neighbor already at her elbow, wearing a tired smile.

"Right," she said and they started into the woods.

"So," Keith said. "Is this nice bit of tedium some kind of warning to be careful courting Arielle or does it mean he actually trusts me?"

Vina thought a moment about the close attention Dalton paid to the letters Keith had been exchanging with his sister before deciding that she had no idea. "He is a protective brother, but then he also sent me on this—"she surveyed the thick snowy woods with distaste—"picnic, so maybe it's a sign of favoritism or—"

She was interrupted by a high-pitched shriek, the sound of a terrified child. She glanced at Keith and they both sprinted uphill towards the noise. Keith tripped over a hidden root and crashed to the ground.

Vina bent to offer him a hand up, but he winced the instant he tried to put weight on his foot. She hesitated until a second louder shriek decided the matter. Keith waved her on and she set off running again, reaching for her sword as she made it to a clearing at the top of the hill.

"One more step," someone barked, "and I'll snap his neck."

Vina stopped and saw that a tall bearded man had a small blond boy by the neck. Two more men stood behind him, though they were busy trying to tie two struggling children—so well bundled that Vina couldn't tell if they were male or female—on the back of a miserable looking donkey.

"Drop your blade," the bearded man added.

Vina assumed a neutral stance but kept a firm grip on her sword. Bandits had always been her least favorite thing to fight as a squire. One had left a long deep cut in her right arm that still ached in cold weather. She wasn't going to stand around weaponless and let them take away children.

"Now," he added, tightening his grip on the boy, whose cheeks glistened with silent tears.

"Wait—" Vina started, but her voice wasn't as loud and commanding as she'd meant for it to be.

"Silence," one of the other men growled, gesturing threatening with the child he was lifting. "We don't want you inviting friends. We've got ourselves some nice young hostages and we're going to leave with them."

"Drop it," the bearded man added, lifting the boy up by his neck.

Vina dropped her sword forcefully so that it fell deep into the snow where it would be harder for the bandits to grab quickly. She regretted it instantly and hated the fact that she'd had no choice.

The bearded man set the boy back down but did not release him. One of the others took a furtive step towards Vina.

She hesitated—deciding on the one bad idea that was slightly better than all the others—and then lunged forward, managing to free the blond boy from his captor's grip and shout the first half of Dalton's name before she had a hand pressed over her mouth and a knife hovering against her neck.

Luckily the little boy knew to run without her telling him.

PDPDPD

The child's shriek and Vina's shout echoed harshly through the bare trees.

"Mithros," Dalton spat.

"Putrescent pony shit," Karyna corrected, sprinting off in the direction of the sound.

Dalton tugged his last knot closed and checked to be sure Jess had an eye on the captured bandits before hurrying after Karyna.

PDPDPD

Vina cast her eyes downward and then wished she hadn't. There were a few drops of blood already on the snow. It was probably hers, though in the cold she could barely feel the sting of sliced skin on her neck. She was suddenly lightheaded, but she often felt that way after a battle, once everything stopped, so she hoped it was fear rather then blood loss. That was a nice rational thought, she told herself, not the kind of thing that occurred to people who were busy bleeding out. She started counting her inhales, making them slow and calm to keep herself from panicking. She reached twenty before Karyna and Dalton appeared.

"Any closer and I'll cut her throat," her captor growled.

"Cut her throat and I'll kill you," Karyna hissed. Somehow she'd already gotten an arrow nocked and aimed at his heart. But she and Dalton had also stopped in their tracks.

Vina tried to roll her eyes at Dalton or Karyna to show that she was alright, but it was hard to tilt her head in their direction without brushing against the knife.

"Then we'd both be dead," the man holding Vina said affably. "Personally, I think she makes a nice, attractive live hostage, though I'd be happy to exchange her for the men you've got tied up down there."

"Let her go," Dalton said, "and we can discuss a possible—"

The knife was pressed a fraction closer to Vina's neck. "Don't toy with me," the man snarled.

PDPDPD

Dalton took a step backwards and lifted his hands up as though in surrender. He ran his eyes over the Vina and the three men again, looking for a way to dissolve their stalemate.

"Alright," he said slowly, stalling, "I'll…send—"

He glanced at Karyna and realized he wouldn't be able to send her anywhere without getting a mutinous refusal. Nor did he want to—he was going to need her there with that bow.

Keith's pale, pained face emerged from behind a tree a few paces back from the man who had Vina. He sized up the situation and nodded at Dalton.

"Let me take the rest of the children downhill on my way," Dalton said as Karyna and Keith blinked significantly at one another. "Then—"he glanced at Karyna who lowered her bow slightly and looked up towards the sky while tilting her chin at the donkey—"we can—

"First you return—"

But the bearded man never finished his request.

Keith lunged forward and grabbed one of the men near the donkey. Vina drove an elbow into her captor's belly, giving herself just enough room to lean away as Karyna's arrow hit his shoulder. Dalton rushed to grab the donkey's rope and get the children safely away and by the time he turned back around, Vina was reclaiming her sword and all three bandits were kneeling in the snow.

PDPDPD

Rissa flung away the blankets and sat bolt upright, breathing hard.

"Vina," she croaked, knowing it had not been just a dream and glad that she had not chosen to stay the night with Basim. Aside from the fact that she'd come to enjoy having an entire tent to herself now that she was living truly alone for the first time in her life, she knew he would have noticed her nightmare. And then she would have had to explain how she knew it was real and Basim, who had a twin of his own, was probably one of the few people who wouldn't laugh. Which wouldn't help her shake off the dream…

She reached across the tent for her waterskin and downed its entire contents in one. Then she pulled back the tent flap and gazed for a while at the sunrise, searching herself for a sense of Vina. Eventually she decided that she'd have to be reassured by the absence of any feeling of pain or death since she only ever knew when Vina _wasn't _fine.

She sighed and pulled on her boots, resolving to walk off the rest of her uneasiness. Her tent was already at the edge of the village and it took her only a few minutes to make her way into the solitude of the nearby hills.

"Good morning."

Rissa turned her head but did not jump at the sound of Basim's voice. She'd gradually gotten used to his ability to move silently across the desert.

"Morning," she agreed, taking his outstretched hand.

He kissed her cheek but didn't say anything more, strolling silently beside her as she let herself by convinced by the sun and the breeze that Vina would be alright.

"This is your midwinter, isn't it?" he said after a long stretch when they had reached the puddles that were all that remained of an earlier watering hole.

"Midwinter eve," Rissa corrected automatically, though she'd been trying not to think of spending the holiday away from everyone she knew.

"How do you celebrate?"

"I don't know," Rissa said. "It depends. Gifts and holy and all that, of course, but it doesn't really feel like midwinter until I've thrown a few snowballs with Vina—or at her—"Rissa smiled and shook her head—"and eaten entirely too much roast and ginger cake and curled up by the fire to pretend to play chess while we doze off." She swallowed, suddenly aware of how much she missed the palace.

"Well then." Basim tilted his head at her and then started trotting back towards the village, tugging her hand.

"What?"

"I'm afraid we don't do snow here," he said, "but chess can be arranged and we're very good at feasts. And everyone loves a good excuse to throw one."

Rissa grinned. "You don't have to do—just because I'm—"

"And speaking of throwing things—"Basim stopped suddenly and scooped up a handful of clay, hefting it playfully—"let's go find my brother."

PDPDPD

"Kid?" Vina called shakily, climbing to her feet. She lifted a hand to her neck and wiped at the scratch there—the cut was nearly sealed over already, but a millimeter more and…

Karyna shot Vina a short stricken glance without losing track of the bow she had trained on the bandits.

There was a snapping of branches and the small blond boy emerged from the trees.

"It's alright," Vina said, glad to hear that her voice was somewhat closer to normal.

Vina's former captor moaned and prodded the arrow stuck in his shoulder.

"Well," Keith said, "not for this lot." He gestured at the bandits and then staggered over to lean against the donkey and rest his ankle.

The boy gave them a ghostly little smile and took the hand Dalton held out to him.

"Here." Dalton checked to be sure he had the child's trust and then scooped the boy onto his back.

Just watching the motion made Vina somewhat dizzy. She felt worse now than she had while she'd actually had the knife pressed to her neck. Her skin stung from the brush with danger, her heartbeat was a loud jangle, and all the colors seemed off somehow. The snow was too dark, the sky was too pale, and the donkey had an odd greenish tinge. She wanted to bury her face in Karyna's hair or Dalton's shirt or even a pile of snow and not have to remember feeling helpless.

"What next?" Karyna asked, her voice breaking the spell.

"Get those three downhill please, you two, and make sure she sees a healer—"he caught Vina's eyes—"just in case. And then get everyone saddled and ready. I want to leave as soon as I've gotten the prisoners to the local sheriff and the kids to their families."

"Will do," Karyna answered, instead of 'yes, sir'. She waited a few minutes for Dalton and Keith to get the children clear and then nudged Vina's elbow gently as she circled around the bandits.

Vina forced the corners of her mouth into a short alert smile. _Thank you, _she mouthed.

_Always. _Karyna nodded and then squared her shoulders to address the bandits. "Stand up all of you. Quietly. And start down slow and easy." She glanced at Vina to mouth, _and that includes you._

PDPDPD

An hour later, Dalton found Karyna saddling her pony. She'd managed to get the whole camp—her riders and his men—ready to leave, but she was moving slowly now, her mind clearly elsewhere.

"Did she talk on the way down?" Dalton asked.

"Not much. Not in front of them."

Dalton nodded. "Daniel—the blond boy—was pretty chatty once Keith cracked a few jokes for him. He told me she just dropped her sword so they wouldn't hurt him and then charged straight in to knock him out of the way. Crazy."

"She is Rissa's twin. She just…" Karyna's hands trembled as she tried to snug up her pony's girth.

"Here." Dalton gently dragged her hands away and got it himself—with some difficulty as her pony proved to be a champion at sucking in air and blowing out her belly.

"Sorry," Karyna muttered, glancing down at her shaking fingers. "I can't stop…"

"You're one of those panic-after-the-fact people, aren't you?" Dalton said, squeezing her shoulder briefly. He was married to one and he could recognize another when he saw her shoot a target inches from her lover's head and then loose it over a saddle girth.

"Guess so." She glanced down at her slowly calming fingers.

"One of her many charms," Vina called from a few paces away. The healer had just finished cleaning and bandaging her neck. "I'm fine."

"No," Dalton snapped. "You were rash and reckless. You disregarded orders to stay with another knight and you almost jeopardized our mission with your risk taking."

Vina blinked in shock, too startled to protest. She'd already told herself the same thing, she just hadn't expected to hear it from Dalton. She stepped back towards Karyna, who frowned but didn't say anything.

"It also saved those children," Dalton conceded. "It was brave and necessary and…I just—"he sighed—"I am not missing my daughter's first midwinter's eve to watch you nearly die."

Vina swallowed and nodded slowly.

"So try to consider your own safety and our sanity"—he gestured at Karyna, who muttered "seconded"—"a little more."

Vina blinked again. "Yes, sir."

"And stop looking at me like a stunned deer or I'm going to come over there and ruffle your hair."

"Noble hypocrite," Vina muttered.

"That's better," Dalton said and Karyna reached out to ruffle her hair for him. He nodded at both of them and went to collect his horse.

"Vina." Karyna took Vina's shoulders and forced her to turn and meet her eyes.

"Sorry—" Vina started.

"We aren't going to fight over this," Karyna said slowly. "So you don't even need to apologize."

Vina swallowed and took a half step forward so she could press her lips gently to Karyna's.

PDPDPD

Penelope skipped the formal festivities in the palace in favor of a simpler (though no smaller, Jason claimed) meal in the smithy. She carried Althea out to the stable to meet Dalton as soon as she heard him arrive.

"Hey." He kissed their cheeks and then grinned when Althea grabbed at his cloak.

"Here." Penelope passed her over.

"Hasn't she just had a bath?" Dalton protested. Their hair smelled very clean and his clothes were a grubby mess.

"She wants her da." Penelope flicked a bit of dried mud off his shoulder and brushed her nose against his collar. "And most of the water wound up on Bandit anyway."

Bandit whined in agreement from the vicinity of their knees. Dalton bent to ruffle his (still somewhat damp) fur. "Sorry about that, fellow. But at least you're cleaner than I am now." He glanced up at Penelope, who'd been quietly scanning his movements and his clothes for any signs of injury as she pulled the saddle off his horse. "The nasty, oozy looking stuff on my elbow isn't blood. We cleared some raiders out of a village renowned for its raspberry jam and then they insisted on feeding us breakfast."

"The raiders?" Penelope asked cheekily as she took Althea back. "How civilized."

"The villagers." Dalton started brushing his horse. "How much of the last few weeks have you spent with Neal?"

"Quite a lot. We both seem to be on the unofficial team assigned to prodding Wyldon into writing his memoirs."

"Wyldon?" Dalton repeated. "Prodding?"

"Well, he isn't loquacious or boastful, so I think we've finally found something that's actually a bit of a struggle for him."

Dalton shook his head. "I'm sure he just needs a little—"

"_For a hard-headed horse and a barrel of wine…"_Keith sang as Karyna carried him pick-a-back through the stables. The Rider was nodding in time and simultaneously scolding Vina for not wearing a scarf.

"But it itches," Vina was protesting. "I'm sure the cold air's better for it."

Penelope studied the three of them and lifted Althea up to watch before turning to Dalton with raised brows.

"Keith twisted an ankle and Vina pulled a stunt," he said. "Clearly she's more your squire than any of us thought."

Vina paused and put her eyes level with Althea. "Remember this. It's always _ours_ when you aren't surprising them and _yours_ when you've got their attention with something unpredictable." She smiled and kissed Penelope's cheek. "You want to get a nice mix of the two."

Dalton continued as though Vina hadn't interrupted. "Or that was my assumption anyway when I realized she'd been taken hostage at knifepoint in the process of rescuing some children." Dalton gripped Vina's shoulder to stifle her shrug. "After which Karyna did some very impressive shooting and seems to have given Keith quite a bit of brandy during the ride home."

"It was from one of the bandits," Karyna added, "probably a little stronger than he's used to. Don't hold it against him."

"He can carry a tune," Peneloped conceded as Keith switched to a rousing midwinter carol. "And he does have a very uh… powerful voice."

"Just don't let him write Arielle until he's sober," Dalton said.

"I don't think he could pull paper from his desk drawer at the moment," Vina said. Then she frowned at Karyna. "Do we know where his key is?"

"No." Karyna drew a deep breath. "Jess," she shouted.

The former-thief-turned-rider appeared before them a moment later.

"I need you to pick a lock for us."

Jess had been a little in awe Penelope since the day she'd attacked Penelope and been taken captive with her brother and fellow bandits only to find herself being freed and encouraged to join the Riders. She glanced warily at Penelope, as though uncertain whether or not to publicly admit to this ability.

"Jess," Penelope said. "Don't disappoint George."

"Okay," Jess said quietly. She glanced from Dalton to Penelope and then back to Karyna.

"Soon please," Karyna muttered, shifting her shoulders. "I think he's just as heavy without armor."

Jess nodded and Vina kissed Dalton's cheek and ruffled Bandit's fur. Then the group disappeared in a chorus of goodnights and carols.

"I wish Jess would just…" Penelope trailed off.

"She's doing well." Dalton dumped oats into his horse's bucket. "Karyna and I trust her with everything out there. She just thinks, accurately enough, that you're amazing and she's a little intimidated by what you did for her."

"Hmmm," Penelope said. "And then I do want her to be doing well because I would feel responsible if she weren't and…Did they warn us that you can't ever actually be done saving someone or worrying about making sure they stay safe?"

Dalton frowned. "I think there might be an indecipherably messy scrawl in the margin of one of the books on the code of chivalry. Maybe—"

Jess rushed back, hugged Penelope, and murmured a happy midwinter.

"You too," Penelope said, though Jess was already dashing back to catch up with the others.

Althea giggled at the odd expression on her mother's face.

"Speaking of unfinished things," Dalton said. "Wyldon's memoirs?"

"They're going to make quite the bedtime story for Althea," Penelope said, "complete with daring rescues, deadly battles, loyal friendship, love triangles, horse theft, and, for comic relief, the accidental incineration of tents."

Dalton paused to consider the last three. "Somehow," he said, "I'm not entirely surprised." He thumped his horse's shoulder once more and then scooped up his gear. "Maybe Vina takes after him."

"Maybe." Penelope shifted Althea to her other side so that Dalton could wrap his free arm around both of them. "I'd need the full story to be certain."

"Tomorrow," Dalton promised.

Penelope smiled and kissed his cheek. "Happy midwinter."

PDPDPD

Midwinter morning saw only two aging warriors on the practice courts at dawn. They stationed themselves at opposite ends to warm up and then, as if by unspoken agreement, they each moved slowly and purposefully towards the middle court. There, they nodded and sized one another up.

"I don't suppose you've come to commiserate with me over the fact that our young people seem to think starting families gives them a reason—by which we mean excuse—for abandoning brutally rigorous training schedules." Alanna moved lightly from foot to foot as she spoke, keep her muscles warm in the icy morning air.

"No," Wyldon agreed. "In our case, small talk is so useless as to be dangerous." He took up a formal fighting stance. "And I trust they will be out by mid-morning," he conceded.

"Otherwise, I will be having a few words with some of them." She took up her own stance at the proper distance. "Shall we?"

Wyldon considered her offer briefly. "Very well. Single hands. No contact between blades."

"Agreed," she murmured, laying her left hand against her thigh.

They moved steadily up and down the court, their swords darting around each other with grace and speed. They barely noticed when Vina appeared and began stretching, though they were somewhat amused when Fira joined her and she gave up the pretense of stretching in order to watch. It was too cold to sweat much and they were both breathing easily thanks to years of long practice. It seemed their duel might go on forever, like a dance without a choreographed ending.

"I hear you have been persuaded to compose a memoir," Alanna remarked finally.

"That is correct."

"There's an old saying that those who cannot do teach instead."

Wyldon raised an eyebrow and traced an arch that passed just inches from her shoulder.

"I think it might be more accurate to suggest that those who cannot teach do instead." She took advantage of his very momentary distraction to point her blade an inch from the inside of his elbow. Then she darted neatly away, ending their duel. "I wish you the best of luck with the writing of it."

They nodded again at one another and put away their weapons. Wyldon glanced at Vina and Fira, who stood watching raptly.

"Advantages are almost always unexpected," he informed them. Then he smiled politely at Lady Alanna. "Happy midwinter to you and your family."

She took his hand briefly. "And to yours."

They nodded one last time and then started off once more to opposite ends of the practice courts.

"Do you think they did they just to confuse us?" Fira asked.

"mmmphf." Vina tapped her fingers against her temple as though this would knock some clarity into her thoughts. "No idea. I can't even tell if they enjoyed it."

_That's all for now…with possible updates appearing this summer. Happy reading, writing, and procrastinating to all!_


	5. First and Lasting

_Sorry about the long delay between chapters—real life (if grad school qualifies as such) got a little hectic and this chapter has an uncontrolled plot and fluff bunny population. It takes place about 3 months (baby Althea is now nine months old) after the last (in which Vina pulled a dumb stunt and Wyldon and Selena began working on his memoirs). Real estate and certain characters are courtesy of Tamora Pierce. Enjoy!_

"I'm going to miss you," Rissa realized as Basim handed her a mug of tea. "Very much."

He kissed her forehead. "And I will miss you." He poured a mug for himself and came to sit cross-legged beside her on his sleeping mat. "Perhaps if you were willing to wait a few months, I might get permission to accompany you."

"No," Rissa said. "I should go now. Before the pages' are taken out for their camping trip and everyone scatters for the summer." Also, much as she would miss Basim, she suddenly knew she did want to bring him back to the palace with her. His friendship had helped her feel at home here in the desert, but her reputation was already rather tattered as it was.

"Ah," he said. "That reminds me. My brother's wife has a cousin training among the pages."

"Jarif?" Rissa said.

Basim nodded. "She'd like you to bring him this letter." He passed her a small envelope.

"Of course." Rissa tucked the letter into her pack. Then she scooted forward until their knees were touching. "And I'll bring his reply when I return."

Basim smiled at her and they sipped their tea in silence until it was light enough for her to saddle her horse and leave.

PDPDPD

Rissa reached the palace on a sunny afternoon and found Penelope and Dalton talking to Kel and Dom after the pages' practice had finished for the day.

She rushed to hug them and was somewhat surprised to see Althea in Penelope's arms. She'd heard about her in letters, of course, and known Penelope was pregnant, but somehow it hadn't ever quite seemed real.

"Is this-?"

"Yes," Penelope said with quiet pride. "We were just trying to see if she would nap, but…" She handed Althea trustingly into Rissa's arms. The baby blinked and grabbed a handful of Rissa's tunic and giggled. Rissa laughed with her, realizing how much things had changed. Penelope hadn't even looked pregnant when she'd left and now her baby was old enough to hold her head up and crawl around spewing nonsense syllables. Rissa kissed her cheek and passed her back to Penelope.

"Where's Vina?" she said once she'd greeted all of them. It felt strange to have to ask. She usually just knew. Even now she had the vague sense that Vina was somewhere near Karyna and her Riders, but no idea where they might be.

Penelope hesitated. "Briarwood," she said finally. "Byrn wrote to request help tackling bandits."

"Oh," she said. She thought she remembered reading something about bandits in his last letter, but she hadn't read it carefully; she been a little upset to read that his new wife was pregnant—he didn't mention her, just that he expected to have an heir soon—and then very upset with herself for being upset by it. "I suppose they can't all be as cute as this one," she added, bending down to scratch Bandit's ears. Then she straightened up. "I have a letter for one of the pages, Jarif, from his cousins."

"He's Fira's friend, isn't he?" said Dalton, who already knew exactly who Jarif was but thought it might be best to latch onto this new topic of conversation.

Kel nodded distractedly.

"Do you know where he—"

"Just up there." Kel pointed to the palace roof, where two figures were moving nimbly along the ledge overlooking the practice courts.

"Why?" Rissa asked, recognizing Fira and Jarif.

"Well," Dom answered, "driving Kel mad is clearly part of the appeal. At least she didn't have an older brother torment her into caution."

"It's nearly a thirty foot drop," Kel said. "If she slips…"

"She won't," Neal said. "But if she does she's got a good chance of landing on one of the storage sheds, though they have thatched roofs so she could just fall straight through…"

Penelope gestured for him to stop. "You still aren't very good at reassuring blandishments, are you?"

"But," Neal continued, "she does have remarkably sturdy bones—always been very good about having her milk and vegetables."

"Here," Rissa said. Then she gave a sharp whistle that made them both stop and look down. "Jarif, I have a letter from Amma."

"Coming," he called. Though he and Fira put their heads together and muttered for a minute before moving.

Dom glanced from his daughter to Penelope and Dalton. "When exactly did you two begin to…"

"There wasn't really an exactly about it," Dalton said.

"Though the night you caught us kissing during the camping trip would probably be a rough indicator," Penelope added.

"And that was your fourth year?"

Penelope nodded, smiling faintly as Dalton's hand settled on her shoulder and pulled her close so that he could check to see if Althea was dozing.

Dom frowned.

"That's the least of my worries," Kel muttered. "Neal and I were the same way."

"Then maybe Jarif's parents should be the ones worrying," Neal said, "given the number of crazy stunts you led me off on."

The pages walked to the corner of the roof, put on a pair of rope harnesses they'd left there—"so that's how they managed," Kel said—and lowered themselves down.

Kel wisely made no mention of their little venture when they stepped up to greet Rissa, aware that it would probably only encourage similar stunts.

Jarif thanked Rissa politely for his letter and then trotted off to read it. Fira meanwhile had immediately and silently challenged her father to a practice bout, thereby staving off a scolding from him.

"Vina said you should use her room until she gets back," Dalton said. "The guest wing is a little crowded now since Alanna and—"

"I'll help you carry your things," Fira offered brightly when she saw that her father was opening his mouth to speak.

Rissa only had two small bags, but she could recognize (and sympathize with) a lecture evasion ploy when she saw one. She tossed one bag to Fira and the two of them hurried away from her parents.

"Thanks," Fira said.

"So," Rissa said, "what—"

"Nothing," Fira snapped. "Why does everyone but Ma have to assume that Jarif and I want to kiss? Why can't they just let us be friends?"

"Because people blink, fight, sleep, eat, and make assumptions," Rissa said. "And ask questions—all I wanted to know was what you're looking for on the roof."

"Oh," Fira said. "There's supposed to be a 3rd century medallion lodged under one of the tiles for luck. We wanted to know if it was really there."

"Is it?"

"We went to all that work to find out for ourselves. You can climb up yourself if you really want to know."

Rissa grinned. "Maybe I will."

Fira sighed. "So I can't do anything about people—making assumptions, I mean."

"Well," Rissa said. "You could try not shouting your denials. That tends to make people suspect that their assumptions are right."

"I know," Fira admitted. "I'm just tired of having people assume they know everything about me."

"Me too." Rissa sighed. "But there are really only two ways to deal with assumptions. You can either ignore everyone and continue as you are for years until people get it into their thick skulls that they assumed wrong."

"Like when the other pages started realizing that I'm not any slower than they are just because I'm a girl?"

Rissa nodded. "Or you can shock them into assuming something else."

"Like when people found out about Vina and Karyna and they stopped thinking that Dalton was—"

"Exactly," said Rissa. "I thought you were too young to have picked up on all that at the time but clearly I assumed wrong."

Fira stuck her tongue out at Rissa.

"As for your Da," Rissa said. "I can't decide if he's saying those things to get you to prove him wrong by not kissing Jarif or if he thinks that Jarif wouldn't be so bad compared to all the others and he wants you to think he disapproves to get you to stick with Jarif and…"

"That's devious," Fira said.

"He loves you," Rissa said, though she was rather glad her own father hadn't cared enough to bother learning about Byrn. It had been bad enough knowing Penelope and Dalton were watching…

"I guess I'll have to prove him wrong the slow way then."

PDPDPD

"There have to be more than three," Byrn said, surveying the only bandits they'd managed to capture thus far. "We've been getting reports of at least a dozen, so even if folks are exaggerating, we should still—"

"Um, Captain," Jess called, "I think—

She froze when Byrn and Vina (and everyone else) turned to look at her too. "Um." She swallowed. "Back when lady knight Penelope found me, um, there were a few people you didn't pick up and they…"she trailed off guiltily and wrapped her fingers in her pony's mane.

"Jess," Byrn growled, "you have to—"

But Vina tapped his arm. "Wait," she said, glancing at Karyna. "It's her command. Her call."

Karyna nodded at Vina, a business-like gesture that somehow seemed to melt her insides. Then she studied Jess for a long moment.

"Why don't we leave our ponies here and step back for a private chat?"

Jess dismounted and the two of them disappeared.

"So," Byrn asked while they were waiting, "what happened to your neck?"

"Oh," Vina said. She tended to forget about the scar—which was healing but still vivid against her winter-pale skin—unless she saw it in a mirror. "I got in between a bandit and his first hostage after dropping all my own weapons."

Byrn blinked at her. "Why?"

"The hostage was six or so," Vina said.

Byrn nodded. "And did—"

"Well, I saved him. But then I had to be rescued. It was rather embarrassing."

"You have an odd sense of decorum," Byrn told her.

"Says the man who invited his old flame's twin sister to hunt down bandits and stay for dinner with his pregnant wife."

"Well," Byrn admitted, "when you put it that way…"

When they returned, Jess's eyes were red from crying, but her face was calm.

"So," Karyna told Byrn and Vina, "there's a cave a half mile up this creek and three hundred paces east. A few years ago the bandits who lived in it were capable of barricading the front and using a smaller back exit."

"So we need to be sure to cover both," Vina said.

Karyna nodded. "But be prepared for the possibility of an ambush as you approach the front."

"Okay," Byrn said. "And you trust Jess's—"

"Absolutely," Karyna said.

"Right. Can you take a handful of Riders around the back in case they need to be headed off? We'll give you a head start and then come in from the front."

She nodded and then glanced at Vina's neck.

Vina sighed. "I'm not going to make the same mistake twice in a row."

"I know, that's why I'm worried about what it will be this time."

PDPDPD

Rissa was too intrigued to even consider declining when Penelope invited her to come hear Wyldon dictate the last of his memoir. She was, however, rather surprised to find that they were walking towards the infirmary.

"Wouldn't it make more sense to work in the library or his study?"

"Well, we started in here," Penelope said, putting Althea down on the rug with a toy cart, "probably because Neal found it amusing to watch Wyldon struggle for words."

"And then we accumulated a bit of a crowd," Dalton added, gesturing around the room. Fira and Jarif and several other pages sat cross-legged on the floor. Kel and Dom occupied a nearby pair of stools. The queen had one of Neal's armchairs and Owen had the other. And a handful of squires were perched on the nearest cot.

"And at this point, it's probably the best place for Selena," Jeck added as he appeared behind them.

Rissa glanced at Selena, who sat at the table preparing pen and paper. "When is she due?"

"This week," Penelope said. "But she isn't done recording the memoir so—"

Selena suddenly gasped and raised a hand to her mouth. They all turned to stare at her before realizing that she was staring at the guest who was strolling through the door with deliberate casualness.

Alanna waved at Neal, smiled at Penelope and Althea, and nodded at Wyldon before leaning against Neal's bookcase to listen. George followed her in, presented Althea with a small stuffed dog that resembled Bandit, ruffled the real Bandit's ears, and then sat down on the end of an empty cot.

Selena read his last sentence from the previous day. And then, without any ceremony, Wyldon simply resumed recounting his experiences from the Immortals' War.

"They attacked at dawn, just as Lord Raoul and I were considering how to best…"

He'd actually gotten comfortable over the many weeks of dictating and fallen into the mode of storytelling he'd once used with Fira and, long ago, his own daughters. Everyone was enraptured, except for Althea, who grew fussy after the first twenty minutes.

Penelope reluctantly stood to take her outside, but Dalton put a hand on her shoulder, nudging her back onto the workbench she was sharing with Rissa and Jeck, and scooped Althea and her toys up. Bandit padded silently after them. Rissa found watching the whole business—the two of them silently coordinating not a battle, but the care of their infant—incredibly strange and she was almost glad to have Wyldon's story distracting her from it.

PDPDPD

Dalton took Althea to her favorite bench in the courtyard. Benches had been the best way to keep her entertained since the previous week, when she'd figured out how to pull herself upright and cling to the end of a bench while she took careful steps along its length. Bandit hopped onto the bench with Dalton.

"Down boy," he muttered half-heartedly.

Bandit laid down on the bench and licked Althea's cheek before settling his head between his paws to watch her.

Dalton shook his head and started investigating the toy dog from George. It had several very clever hidden pockets.

PDPDPD

"Well," Alanna said when Wyldon had finished. "That isn't precisely how I remember the Battle at Walnut Creek."

The entire room went silent before she added, "but I suppose I'll have to write my own version in my own memoirs and give the historians something to fight over."

"Quite," said Wyldon. "They might grow complacent otherwise."

They grinned warily at one another and then Wyldon cleared his throat and patted Selena's shoulder before standing up to dismiss all of them.

PDPDPD

"Hey," Dalton said. "Look who's coming."

Althea's eyes lit up when she saw Penelope and Rissa coming. Bandit barked and trotted towards them. And Althea simply followed after her dog, apparently unaware that she had run out of bench to cling to until she had left it far behind. And by then Penelope was kneeling a short ways in front of her and she was toddling into her mother's arms.

"Hello, sweetheart," Penelope murmured, lifting her up to kiss her cheeks. "Look at that surprised face Uncle Neal is making."

She set Althea back on the ground and made sure she was steady on her feet. Althea promptly took off towards Dalton's bench, Bandit pacing alongside her.

Dom whistled, Kel grinned, and Neal pointed out that such precocious behavior in a nine-month old was probably indicative of an intractably headstrong personality. George cleared his throat and held out a hand until Neal put a coin into it.

"I was predicting she'd walk at ten months," he admitted. "Which would still have been early."

"Yes." Wyldon came to ruffle her hair. "But why would you expect ordinary earliness from such an intrepid little creature?"

Penelope and Dalton grinned wryly at one another, fairly certain that Wyldon had never given either of them such a high compliment.

"Enjoy the claps and whistles now," Rissa told her. "In twelve years or so they'll all be telling you every time your left foot is a half inch too far out or your fingers are just a smidge too close together."

PDPDPD

Four of the bandits surrendered as soon as Byrn and Vina and their Riders came within sight of their cave. Unfortunately, this was simply a ploy to get some of them dismounted and distracted while their companions attacked from above with slingshots. Vina, who was still on her horse, used her arm to deflect a stone from Byrn's head and then tried to push further uphill.

It was ugly and chaotic and they all earned some bruises, but fortunately the bandits didn't have any arrows and it was possible to start herding them down the hill to be tied up with the others. Except for the two with knives. They both headed straight for Byrn, trying to pull him from his horse.

Byrn knocked one down with the hilt of his sword and then spun his horse around, which sent the other flying in Vina's direction. He took advantage of her surprise to hook a hand over her elbow and drag her halfway from her horse before she could jerk free and punch his face. He lashed out with his knife, slicing through her reins, and then darted back into the cave.

Vina cursed, rolled the rest of the way off her horse, and ran after him.

"Vina!" Byrn called after her, but she ignored him. This would be the only way to make sure it was completely clear this time.

The cave was almost pitch black and she tripped almost immediately, falling to her hands and knees in rough gravel. But she could hear him scuffling along ahead of her so she pushed herself upright and followed after him, trailing one hand against the cave wall so she wouldn't bump into it. And trying to ignore the fact that she could practically hear Dalton telling her just why it was a really bad idea to corner someone with a knife in a dark cave that he was familiar with and she wasn't. Because that had to be an auditory hallucination.

Then suddenly it was so bright she was almost blinded and all she could see was the knife coming at her face. She ducked just in time and forced her way out of the cave only to realize that they were on a narrow ledge beside a very steep hill. He grabbed her arm and swung wildly with the knife.

Vina ducked and tugged at his elbow, letting his own body weight send him crashing down the hill into a shallow creek. His knife landed with a soft clang on some stones near his feet. She probably would have gone tumbling after him if Karyna hadn't grabbed her shoulder.

"All clear on your end then?" Karyna asked. "That fills your reckless stunt allotment for the next six months by the way."

Vina nodded. "What about this side?" She glanced down guiltily at the man she'd chased. "He isn't moving."

"His face is out of the water." Karyna tugged Vina's arm and pointed to the trail she'd used on the way up. "We caught three sneaking out the back. I sent Jess and the others around with them. So we'll have to haul this one out ourselves and throw him over my pony."

Vina nodded. "Byrn should be about done tidying up over there by the time we make it around." She stepped into the creek and found that it barely covered the toes of her boots.

Karyna took the man's pulse. "Definitely not dead," she said. "Let's get him out of here before he wakes up."

Vina nodded and rolled up her sleeves, glancing absently at the scar on her right arm.

"It's been five years," Karyna said quietly.

"A little over," Vina said smiling. It had been that long since she'd had her arm sliced up, which meant that it had also been that long since she'd wandered out of the infirmary with her arm throbbing and Neal's warning that it was going to take a long time to heal ringing in her ears and stumbled into Karyna's arms for their first kiss.

"If you want to be precise," Karyna said, lifting the man's feet.

"I do," Vina said, smiling again, because she thought she suddenly knew how to say to Karyna what she had been thinking for months. "Because it's been too long for even Great Aunt Angraine to write you off as a youthful rebellious phase." Vina swallowed and lifted from under the man's arms. "We've lasted almost as long as—"

"Vina." Karyna's voice was almost even. "We aren't courting at a ball. How about if we skip the polite hedging and just avoid getting killed so we can grow old together?"

This time Vina's grin threatened to split her face in half. "You mean that?"

Karyna nodded. "If you do. I think we're past the courting stage."

"Yes," Vina said. "And onto just being with each other. So we might as well plan on it."

"Agreed," Karyna murmured, her voice uncharacteristically soft.

Vina glanced in frustration at the man they were carrying. She was pretty sure Penelope would have already dropped his head and rushed over for a kiss, but she suspected Dalton would still have had a miserable chivalrous grip on the guy and she wasn't sure which model to follow.

Karyna, who was only holding his feet, had no such qualms and she promptly dropped them in the mud and stepped hurriedly to Vina, wrapping her hands over her shoulders and kissing her.

"Unghugh," the bandit moaned, waking up.

"Great," Vina informed him as she and Karyna parted, "now you can walk."

Unfortunately, he could also talk and most of the words he directed at them were variants of 'foul' and 'unnatural'.

Karyna got fed up and gagged him after a few minutes. "You're lucky I'm in a good mood today," she added. "Or I might consider cutting out your tongue." The bandit glared at her and she grinned back.

"So," Vina said, "how did you talk Jess into telling us?"

Karyna smiled. "To quote George, 'that, my dear, would be revealing trade secrets."

PDPDPD

Dinner was excellent not only because the food was wonderful, but because Byrn had made it clear that Karyna (who was gradually getting used to this sort of invitation) was to join the nobles at the family table. Vina spent the first few minutes of it watching Byrn's new wife Lady Maria. It wasn't just that she was very pretty, with a waterfall of chestnut hair, and very pregnant; it was that she might easily have been Rissa.

After they'd finished eating and Byrn's mother retired to her record-keeping, they took advantage of the mild weather to stroll in the garden. Maria sat on a bench after a short while and, after a pleading look from Byrn, Karyna sat on the bench opposite her so that Byrn could casually draw Vina away for a private conversation.

"This is strange," Byrn said. "I used to imagine you'd come to Briarwood to visit us. But I always thought the us would include Rissa. And now, here we are."

"Maria's lovely," Vina said. "Not my type, but lovely."

"You don't have a type, you have her." Byrn glanced back to where Karyna and Maria were discussing—for lack of a better topic—their shared dislike of putting bare feet on a cold stone floor first thing in the morning. "And you'd be too polite to tell me if she looked like a hag."

"True," Vina admitted also glancing back at Karyna. "But I think she's also good-hearted, if a little naïve." Maria's expression had been very puzzled when Byrn directed a servant to carry Karyna and Vina's things to the same room and she'd raised an eyebrow in sudden understanding when Karyna's hand drifted to Vina's neck as she walked behind her chair. But she hadn't frowned or asked barbed questions or said anything about the fact that Karyna was the only commoner at the table.

"I suppose I should have warned her about the room," he said, "but it just occurred to be at the last minute that one of you"—she realized her meant her and Rissa—"could be beside the right person tonight."

"Thanks. It's nice to have someone just assume we belong together instead of snidely asking why I can't at least consort with women of my own status."

"Those people are obviously just jealous," Byrn informed her.

"You only say that because you're in love with my identical twin," Vina said. She hadn't meant to, it was just banter, but once she'd said it she knew it was still true. "Sorry," she added.

He shrugged. "I wouldn't want to deny it."

PDPDPD

"So." Maria's eyes narrowed as Byrn and Vina slid out of earshot. "I just want to clarify a few points."

"Such as?" Karyna tightened her jaw, preparing not to react if she were insulted.

"Were they ever lovers?" she tilted her head towards Vina and Byrn.

"No," she said, shocked into candor. "Vina's mine."

"I can see that," she said, not unkindly. "So he's just asking about her sister…"

"Rissa," Karyna filled in.

"He still loves her, doesn't he?"

"Sorry," Karyna said.

"It's alright," Maria said. "At least now I know I'm not crazy." She sighed. "To be honest, I married him because my brother—who's a complete idiot—was about to take over my parents' estate and I didn't want to be around to watch, you know."

"Um," said Karyna. Luckily Maria didn't seem to want a more elaborate response.

"Anyway, I've always wanted to have children and I didn't see other suitable husbands lined up and anything was better than waiting around at home and I could tell that Byrn wasn't a bad sort, you know, I wasn't all that interested in him anymore than he was interested in me. So I thought I might as well marry him before I wound up stuck with someone worse."

It was around this moment that Karyna concluded that all noblewomen, not just the ones who wanted to be knights, were crazy and brave. And that she was very lucky Vina was also extraordinarily stubborn about defying convention and not nearly so talkative.

"Now I wonder if it wasn't a little reckless. I mean, I spend most days with Byrn's mother and I adore her. She's such a sweetheart, don't you think?"

"Yes," Karyna said, because Lady Amicia had always been good to Jess.

"But Byrn…I think he has a sense of humor and he seems to have good stories to tell if someone gets him talking. I don't imagine he'll ever love me like…Rissa." She frowned. "Actually I hope he never stops loving _her _because it would completely spoil _my _belief that romantic love exists for some people. But Briarwood is rather isolated and empty so it would be good if we could be friends at least. And I think we would be if we'd met another way. But then I think he feels so guilty about not loving me that he hasn't actually gotten to know me."

"How did you figure all of that out?" Karyna asked, rather impressed.

Maria rolled her eyes. "I spend a few hours each day helping Amicia with the accounts—I've always liked math—and then I go for a walk in the garden and then I spend the rest of the day sewing and _thinking._ It's possible to do both at once you know."

"Like riding."

"I suppose," Maria said. She folded her hands in her lap. "So what I need to know is how to get acquainted." She looked expectantly at Karyna.

"I'm really not the best person to be dispensing advice about men," Karyna said. Her advice to young Riders generally ran something along the lines of _be careful not to get pregnant and don't drink unless you trust him. _

"I know," Maria said cheerfully. "But there aren't any other available candidates and I think you know something about love and even I can't talk about socks for half an hour."

Karyna grinned. "Alright. Be honest with him about what you've told me." She sighed. "Or try. And then talk about things other than the two of you. He likes ancient history and chess and horses. What about you?"

"Flowers," Maria said, then she winced, "probably not a good—"

"Plant some this spring," Karyna said. "It'll give you something to do besides sewing. What else?"

"Music."

Karyna shrugged. "He likes listening but I doubt he knows enough to have a conversation."

"Dogs," Maria offered.

"Perfect. Byrn loves dogs. So do I."

"Lovely." Maria smiled. "We'll let Byrn and Vina find us talking about them when they return. When I was four, my father had this great big wolfhound who would let us climb up on his back and…

PDPDPD

Vina reached out and took his hand. "How are the two of you? I mean, she's pregnant, so things can't be entirely…"

He shrugged. "It isn't the way I feel about Rissa, but I suppose I could love her someday. Eventually. I mean, I love you and-"

"Um." Vina released his hand. "There are a number of reasons I can't reciprocate. Most of them are people."

He chuckled. "No, I mean the kind of love that grows from knowing someone. Spending a lot of time working together, fighting together, burning each other's food whenever we took turns cooking."

"Oh." Vina kissed his cheek. "That way, of course. Well, that's a start. There are noble marriages that don't even have companionship. I know it's not everything, but—"

Byrn nodded. "I shouldn't complain—"

"That's not what I meant—" Vina said.

"Especially to someone who can't actually mar—"

"Of course not," Vina said lightly, "then she'd have to quit the Riders."

"But—"Byrn sighed. "Sorry."

"Me too, sometimes" Vina said. "But we're permanent."

"Since when?" Byrn asked. There'd been something in her tone that made it sound like an event rather than an adjective.

"Today, actually," she said, suddenly grinning widely as she glanced towards where they'd left Karyna and Maria. "I mean for years obviously, but after this past year…"she lifted a hand to the scar on her neck. "And then we talked while we were bringing round that last bandit."

"I wondered what why it took you so long to collect one prisoner." He hugged her. "Congratulations."

"Thanks."

"And your family still doesn't know about her?"

"Rissa knows," Vina said. "And I suppose they'll find out when we visit this summer."

He raised an amused eyebrow and they walked in silence for a stretch.

"So," he said finally as they turned around. "How—"

"I don't know how she is," Vina answered before he could speak Rissa's name. She swallowed. "We seem to be drifting apart. She doesn't write as often as she should. I don't either, probably. I miss her."

"Me too."

"And"—Vina sighed—"I don't sense much anymore unless she's in terrible danger or really miserable or incredibly happy. And she seems to mostly be somewhere in between."

"That's good, I guess."

Vina nodded. "And Byrn, I think there might be someone else, in the desert, I mean."

He nodded. "I'm not surprised. Something she wrote in passing about meeting another twin made me think maybe..." He swallowed. He was surprised by how angry it made him. And not at Rissa or Vina or Maria. "It's only fair," he added, but it felt like a lie.

Vina squeezed his hand and they walked quietly back to the others and found them talking about dogs.

PDPDPD

"Where's your sister?"

Rissa recognized Berin instantly, but it took her a second to realize that he assumed she was Vina. He was also standing between her and Vina's door.

"Still out shaming the name of nobility in the dirt-ridden desert or have the tribesmen tired of her teasing and-"

"Which one of us were you looking for?" Rissa asked. Then she took advantage of his momentary puzzlement to punch him in the gut.

"That was for insulting my family." She thought a moment and then kicked his chin while he was still doubled over. "That was for insulting our allies to the south." He swung at her but she ducked away. "I'm Rissa, by the way. Evening." And she marched past him and slammed Vina's door behind her.

Rissa gazed around the room and realized she was miserable. There was something about seeing her bags amid Vina's things that reminded her that her sister wasn't there. And something about standing in the last place she'd seen Byrn that reminded her of saying goodbye. And it was all proof that she was a long ways from the desert and the happiness she'd found there.

"I'm going for a walk," she said aloud to keep herself from crying.

Five minutes later she was blotting away tears with her sleeve and knocking on Penelope and Dalton's door.

"Can I come in?" she asked when he opened it.

Dalton glanced from Rissa to Penelope and casually announced that he wanted to take Bandit for a walk. He squeezed Rissa's shoulder on his way out.

"Am I that obviously a wreck?" she asked.

Penelope frowned thoughtfully and sniffed her daughter's rear. "He may also have been ducking out of a diaper change." She gestured for Rissa to sit and talk while she proceeded with this business.

Rissa told her about Berin.

"Not exactly a beacon of chivalry and sweetness, is he?" Penelope murmured, soothingly because she was setting Althea in her cradle and setting it rocking.

"No," Rissa said, grateful that Penelope was generously overlooking the fact that she'd once almost slept with him.

"Also, probably not exactly the reason you came," Penelope said.

Rissa sighed and found that words were falling out of her mouth. "I thought that if I just came back here I could go back—go back to being a squire again or to just after…And that somehow Vina and Byrn would be here and…" She shook her head. "But nothing's the same. You have this beautiful baby and Selena …"

She was crying and she hated it. She'd promised herself she wouldn't.

Penelope wet a handkerchief for Rissa's face.

"Sometimes I imagine that I'll wake up and be fifteen again," she admitted. "No baby, no husband, no responsibilities but Neal's equipment and my horse."

"But fifteen was horrible," Rissa protested.

"I know." She wiped Rissa's face.

"I mean you and Dalton were great to us," Rissa said. "It's just that—"

"It had its fair share of scared, bored, miserable, and confused alongside the happy and excited."

"Yes," Rissa said, "that."

"Nineteen and twenty-three are the same way," Penelope whispered. "The earlier years just seem easier because you've already done them." She tossed away the cloth. "Though I'm still holding out hope that twenty-five will be the year things magically get easy."

"I wouldn't count on it," Rissa told her.

Penelope smiled. "You're just cynical because you're having an especially difficult year.

Rissa smiled back because that somehow made it easier.

"You're going back to the desert?" Penelope asked, because Rissa hadn't brought all of her belongings back.

"Yes." Rissa's gut twisted guiltily at the thought that she was running away again. "I'll wait for Vina to get back, of course, but then…

"You must have found something worth returning to then," Penelope said.

"There's someone I miss," Rissa said carefully.

If Penelope had asked who, she probably would have stopped talking and refused to mention Basim, but Penelope just sat folding up a blanket that had been left on the sofa.

"I didn't realize until I left how much he'd start to matter." She swallowed. "I can't compare him to Byrn. That wouldn't be fair. But he's one of the few people I can really talk to and we hunt together and sleep together." She swallowed again, guiltily. "You must think I'm… loose or something."

"You mean flexibly adjusting to circumstances?" Penelope asked. "I don't see anything particularly wrong with that. Do you think you're loose?"

"But you never—with anyone but Dalton."

"No," Penelope said. "But if he'd run off and married someone else, you might have found me kissing Sir Michael or Jason or Selena or Karyna for that matter—let's not limit our imaginative scope."

Rissa smiled briefly before her face crinkled back into a frown. "And Vina's always—since she found Karyna."

"You two don't have to do everything exactly the same," Penelope pointed out. "For one thing, you're attracted to different kinds of people. And you still haven't answered my question. What do you think of yourself?"

"It feels right," Rissa said, "having his company for now, even though I know we won't settle down together forever. We've been good to each other and I want to go back and spend more time with him—not just him, I mean, there are lots of things I love about the desert."

"Then you should go back," Penelope said.

"But it's not the kind of thing that…" Rissa sighed. "If people knew about it, especially after last winter, they'd say it proved I was a—"

"You aren't a slut, Rissa," Dalton said, startling both of them. "She's fast asleep," he assured Penelope, kissing her temple, "or I wouldn't be using such language."

"Um." Rissa felt her face glowing as she wondered how much Dalton had overheard.

He wrapped a hand over her shoulder. "Rissa, I know I'm not the ideal person to be giving you advice, but Alanna's just across the hall and you need to go ask her about Liam."

"Liam?" Rissa repeated.

"The Shang Dragon," Penelope clarified. "Go now. She'll still be up."

"Okay." Rissa stood, looking bemused. "Um, thanks."

Dalton clapped her shoulder. "Anytime."

PDPDPD

Rissa knocked on the guestroom door and then had a moment's fear that she'd knocked on the wrong one when no one answered immediately. If she'd knocked on a young man's door at this hour, it could set off a whole new round of gossip and…

Then the door swept open to reveal George tucking away the mirror he'd used to check the identity of their visitor. He raised an eyebrow and directed her straight to the sitting room where Alanna sat fiddling with the fastening on a wrist-guard.

"Um," Rissa said, "I'm supposed to ask about the Shang Dragon."

"Hmmm," said George, frowning.

Rissa glanced nervously at Alanna, wondering if perhaps this wasn't a good question to have asked in front of her husband.

Alanna grinned. "He just can't decide how to work this into a bet, that's all."

"Sadly not," George said. "But I really can't think ill of the fellow—he not only kept Alanna alive through several hare-brained—"

"I prefer foolhardy," Alanna put in,

"Foolhardy adventures," George amended. "He also had the good grace to die a convenient and heroic death afterwards, leaving the field clear for me."

Rissa blinked.

George bowed at her and blew Alanna a kiss before stepping out the door. "Evening ladies, I'm just goin' for a little stroll."

"That's the second time tonight I've made someone's husband leave just by showing up at the door."

"Hmmm." Alanna gestured for her to sit. "I wouldn't read too much into it. At least people won't assume you're going around visiting our husbands."

Rissa sat.

"Liam was…well, he was handsome for one thing, and funny for another. And also a flirt." Alanna grinned and Rissa couldn't help grinning back at her. "And I was a long way from home. And I'd broken things off with Jon, but I hadn't quite admitted to myself how much I loved George. And George was very far away when we met on the road. So we started keeping one another company. I think we knew from the beginning it couldn't last long, but nobody got hurt. Or nobody got their heart broken anyway—I seem to recall there were a few injuries in the process of collecting the Dominion Jewel."

Rissa nodded. "And nobody cared?"

"We didn't care whether or not they did." Alanna grinned. "So what's his name?"

"Basim." Rissa answered almost before she'd registered the question.

"Is he married?"

"No."

"Does he expect you to marry him?"

"Of course not."

"And you're getting along?"

"That's not the problem," Rissa said. "It's that…it isn't what—"

"Young lady, I may be getting on in my years, but I'm still quite capable of knocking you over several different ways if you say anything about what 'people think' or 'everyone expects'."

Rissa wisely clamped her lips together for a moment. "I never thought there'd be anyone but Byrn. And now I'm starting to care for Basim. And that makes me not sure who I am."

"I think you're more like I was when it comes to men than Mindelan or Penelope," Alanna said. "You aren't the settling down right away sort."

"No," Rissa agreed.

"And," Alanna continued. "I have this theory that the last thing we do as we're dying is to figure ourselves out. So if you think you understand your place in the universe, you are probably bleeding out."

"I thought you were supposed to be providing comforting advice."

Alanna grinned. "I never do what I'm supposed to. And you shouldn't either."

PDPDPD

Penelope stood up and clasped her fingers loosely in Dalton's once Rissa had left.

"Probably the best place for her," she said. "I can reassure and encourage, but that gets a little tiresome unless you cut it with frank advice derived from direct experience."

Dalton nodded and they walked idly towards Althea. "I suppose we can't all be experts in everything."

"I can't believe she's walking already," she said. "I think I'm actually going to miss the sitting and crawling phase."

"Me too," Dalton admitted, "but soon—"

"I'm not ready for another," Penelope said quickly. "I need time to think about—"

"I know." Dalton lifted a finger to her lips to keep her from waking Althea. "I was going to say," he continued in a whisper, "that soon she'll be old enough for traveling. Slowly, obviously, and with plenty of stops. But I think we could visit the Swoop or my mother or your aunt."

Penelope smiled and kissed his hand. "I think I'd like that," she whispered. "I think she'd like that."

_So, happy summer everyone! I'm still trying to figure out how this chapter got so long…_


End file.
